Trump Isn’t Sending His Best

Spike Dolomite
4 min readSep 30, 2021
Letter from a DC Jail by Pauline

Remember when Trump said Mexico wasn’t sending its best? Remember that? MAGA militia members who stormed the Capitol for him have started getting sentenced and it’s clear that he didn’t send his best. Pauline Bauer penned a letter from a Washington DC jail. She was only charged with misdemeanors but she has been sitting in jail pretrial for failure to follow court and judge orders and for making an ass out of herself during court proceedings. She is defending herself and claims she’s “sovereign.” She hand wrote a motion to dismiss the case citing a high school trip to the Capitol when arguing against charges. In her hand written letter on notebook paper she wrote that she was placed in a psych ward for 3 days while in custody.

Olympic swimmer Klete Keller, who wore a Team USA jacket to attack the Capitol, has plead guilty. So much for being one of America’s best.

Derek Jancart, the domestic terrorist who brought radios and gear to the Capitol and made it all the way into Nancy Pelosi’s office after posting on Facebook, “Anyone know the laws on pick axes in D.C.?” got sentenced to 45 days in jail. 45 days for breaking into the US Capitol and then busting into the Speaker of the House’s office and he got barely a slap on the wrist.

Judges are going easy on the January 6 domestic terrorists who threatened to kill members of Congress, trashed offices and chambers, beat the cops to a pulp and spread their own shit on the walls. If these guys were all Black they sure as shit wouldn’t be getting lectures and slaps on the wrists or getting off with misdemeanors. Truth or consequences? Neither if you’re white.

The incident in Texas where Trump’s followers were videotaped trying to run a Biden bus off the road during the campaign foretold this. The cops didn’t respond to the campaign’s frantic calls to 911. None of the dangerous motorists were punished even though the cops had all of their license plate numbers. No consequences for white radicals in today’s America.

Violence and intimidation accelerate once people know they can get away with it, so expect more. The GOP encourages it, the cops look the other way, the Dems respond with being too nice, and the courts treat domestic terrorists as if they’re teenagers who got caught egging houses.

While MAGAs make martyrs out of themselves in jail, MAGAs on the outside are still demanding that they have the right to kill themselves and anybody else who has the misfortune of crossing paths with them with covid.

“Anti-vaxxers, the dumbest people alive (for now), have bought so much freaking sheep drench (Ivermectin) that our horses, dogs, and livestock are running out. Some untreated animals might need to be killed. We live in the stupidest timeline.” — Lindy Li

YouTube is cutting everybody off who posts lies and conspiracy theories about covid. That includes osteopath Joseph Mercola and anti-vaxxer Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.

Governor Ron DeSantis compared Australia to China because of its strict covid lockdown policy which has been stringent since the onset of the pandemic. Unlike America, consequences for violating mandates are enforced in Australia. He suggested we rethink our diplomatic relations. Australia has the same amount of people as Florida does but they have only lost 1,256 people to covid compared to 54,067 in Florida. DeSantis is one of Trump’s best.

The Select Committee has issued 11 more subpoenas to the eggheads who organized the Stop the Steal rally. “Be Best” wet t-shirts for everyone!

The Senate is supposed to vote on Biden’s infrastructure bills today. People are very nervous. The media has put the colons of regular news watchers on high speed. They’re spazzing out as reporters continually frame the story as Dems fighting with each other and the future of the Republic teetering on the edge. What’s really going on is just normal political negotiations with a couple of jerks hogging the headlines. They should be reporting on the content of the bills instead of turning it into a reality TV fight. The Dems are doing their best to get their message out but every time somebody from the mainstream media interviews them they egg them on. Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

“If the big bill passes, people who wouldn’t otherwise be able to see and hear will see and hear. Parents who wouldn’t otherwise go back to work will go back to work. People who wouldn’t otherwise go to college will go to college. It would be nice to hear more discussion of this.” — Anand Giridharadas

Dear media: Take off the wet “Be Best” t-shirts and button up. We know you’re going through Trump withdrawal and are jonesing for a fight, clicks, likes and shares, but you’re not doing your job. Do better. We need you.

Best, America.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.