Trump Loves Wikileaks

Spike Dolomite
3 min readApr 11, 2019

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WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange was arrested in London after Ecuador withdrew his asylum and kicked him out of their embassy because he’s such a pig. He’s facing extradition. The Department of Justice secretly filed criminal charges against him back in November for publishing stolen materials during the 2016 election. He could appear in the Eastern District of Virginia as early as tomorrow.

Trump loves Wikileaks.

Trump’s older sister and federal appellate judge, Maryanne Trump Barry, quietly retired after the New York Times outed her for violating judicial conduct rules by participating in fraudulent tax schemes with her filthy rich cheating siblings several months ago. Now that she has “retired” she’s immune from misconduct proceedings. She’ll still get to collect about $200,000 a year in retirement too, because that’s how the cheating filthy rich roll.

Nancy Pelosi isn’t having any of Attorney General Barr’s bullshit. She said he was ”off the rails” on the Mueller report, “He is attorney general of the United States of America, not the attorney general of Donald Trump.” Nancy doesn’t trust Barr. She also said that the allegations that the Trump campaign was spied on undermine Barr’s independence as the nation’s top law enforcement officer and that Barr is so far up Trump’s ass she can’t tell where he ends and Trump begins.

Bill Barr works for Trump. Why?

Trump is gaining power because of Bill Barr.

A 23 year old white man has been arrested for burning 3 black churches down in Louisiana. He’s the son of a St. Landry sheriff’s deputy, and a white supremacist.

Jeff Bezos is meeting with federal prosecutors about the National Enquirer trying to extort money from him at the same time that the National Enquirer is up for sale.

Rupert Murdoch’s tabloid, the New York Post, published a photo of the World Trade Center on fire with the caption, “Rep Ilhan Omar: ‘9/11 was some people did something’ — here’s your something.” Robert Murdoch’s tabloid is inciting violence against Muslims.

Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio Cortez called a college Republican group out after it called her a “domestic terrorist” in a fundraising email. When the repugs do this, it ramps up the death threats against her and her colleagues.

A MAGA nut sent pipe bombs to prominent Democrats 6 months ago in a politically motivated assassination attempt.

MAGAs are violent and make death threats against elected officials. They burn down black churches and elect and defend a white supremacist autocrat.

Trump told a bunch of admirers in Texas that US troops at the border can’t get “a little rough, everybody would go crazy — can’t act like they would normally act — or like, let’s say, another military from another country would act.”

The president of the United States is encouraging the US military to ramp up violence against unarmed people.

The president of the United States incites violence to deflect off of his crimes, make himself feel tough and powerful, and get the MAGAs all riled up so they’ll vote for him.

The president is a clear and present danger to the United States.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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