Nov 12, 2018
Trump that Bitch
A radical feminist group protested Trump by running out topless as his motorcade drove by in Paris, making a depressed pouty face Trump feel like a rock star. Soon he’ll be telling stories at his MAGA rallies of all the naked women who threw themselves at him in France.
Europe separated Trump and Putin at dinner because Trump is Putin’s bitch.
Florida Governor Rick Scott’s campaign filed a motion to impound the voting equipment in Palm Beach and Broward Counties. He is using his power to throw out lawful votes and seize the voting machines in order to win an election. He and the Republicans are totally freaking out and are doing everything they can to stop the recount. Why? All they are doing is counting votes. If they’re so sure of their wins, just kick back, roll a fat one and wait for your we told you so moment, bitches.
To make matters worse, the president of the United States is bitching that Florida votes were “forged” and “massively infected” and that the state should ignore its recount law and just stick with election night results. America needs to roll that fat one.
“Yes please explain to me one more time about how Republican-controlled election boards in the Republican-controlled state of Florida are stealing elections for Democrats because this makes complete sense to me and please make sure to use all caps when you do so, thank you so much” — Jeff Tiedrich
Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz, who has appeared on InfoWars and brought a neo-Nazi and Holocaust denier to the State of the Union address, was photographed over the weekend in Broward County with a white guy in a Pepe the Frog shirt and a Proud Boy hat. Pepe the Frog is an online animated character associated with Nazis and white supremacists. Proud Boys are a white supremacist gang. Therefore, Matt Gaetz is a white supremacist.
“I hope it’s raining while Trump is being frog-marched in handcuffs out of the White House” — also from Jeff Tiedrich. Follow him on Twitter. He’s hilarious.
Something is up with Fox News. They’ve gone silent on Twitter. They tweeted 39 times on the 8th (last tweet was at 2:18 pm) and haven’t tweeted anything since. They love to spin on Twittter, they tweeted 229 times on election day, so what’s up?
Democratic Congressman Jerry Nadler will chair the House Judiciary Committee in January and will subpoena Acting Attorney General Matt Whitaker as its first witness because he was only hired to be the hatchet man to destroy the Mueller investigation.
White Senator Cindy Hyde-Smith kissed up to a white rancher on the campaign trail and said that she’d show up to a public hanging if he asked her to. Hyde-Smith is in a run off to hold her seat. Her opponent, Mike Espy, is black. Mississippi has the reputation of being the most violent, racist state in the nation with a total of 581 recorded lynchings from 1882 to 1968. Will this help or hurt her, Mississippi?
It’s Veterans Day and what do vets get? Nothing. They haven’t received GI Bill benefits for months due to a series of information technology glitches at the Department of Veterans Affairs. 5,600 troops are spending Veterans Day at the US border with very little electricity or fresh food. They’re eating ramen noodles and Skittles and doing nothing, all because the president wanted to scare up some votes for Republicans last week. Fresh food and Starbucks are right outside their camp, within eye sight. They’ll probably be sitting there on Thanksgiving. Morale is low. This isn’t a real mission.
Fox News hasn’t tweeted in 4 days. Tucker Carlson is being accused of assaulting a gay immigrant in a country club. Democrats keep picking up more House Seats and could get one more seat in the Senate with Arizona. Maybe two if Mississippi decides it doesn’t want to elect another Republican white racist. A recount in Florida looks good for the Democrats. Trump is loathed and mocked by the world community and his own country. Rumor has it that Bob Mueller has 30 indictments ready to go.
69 more days until the 116th Congress is sworn in. The Dems are gonna move on him like a bitch.
