It’s been 8 weeks since the Dems took the House and they are moving at lightning speed (for sloggy, messy democratic government) to do what the Republicans should have done as soon as Trump took office and that is INVESTIGATE HIM. The trumped say “See! SEE!!!! The Democrats are trying to destroy the president! They’re playing partisan politics!!!” Everybody else says, “OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE DON’T LET THERE BE AN ACTUAL EMERGENCY BEFORE TRUMP IS IMPEACHED OR RESIGNS OR IS HAULED OFF TO JAIL.”

“I think we’ll remember today as the day that the House of Representatives opened an impeachment inquiry against the President of the United States in all but name. They didn’t use the I word.” — Peter Baker, New York Times

Sarah Huckabee Sanders had a trumped up comment for the Democrats investigating her boss, “Their intimidation and abuse of American citizens is shameful. Democrats are harassing the President to distract from their radical agenda of making America a socialist country, killing babies after they’re born, and pushing a ‘green new deal’ that would destroy jobs and bankrupt America.”

Trump’s nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize was trumped (forged.) TWICE.

“Trump furious after Nobel Committee gives him participation trophy” — Andy Borowitz

Roger Stone was trumping before Trump but now that he got tangled up with Trump he’s trumping for jail. He’s got to go back to court because the judge wants to know why he’s writing and pimping a book when he’s under gag order.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: None of the Republicans have broken rank to admit that Trump is having a nervous breakdown in front of the world and is mentally unfit to be president. They’ve been Trumped.

Trump has a golf course in Alberdeen, Scotland, the Trump International Scotland. He purchased 1,400 acres and the Menie Estate to build “the greatest golf course anywhere in the world.” To build it he had to destroy the natural habitat of a once protected reserve, the last stretch of wilderness in Britain. When the local residents fought back he said they lived like pigs. A big, fat, greedy bastard pig from America bulldozed his way into a quiet, quaint community and destroyed the pristine seaside dunes. The seize was documented in the film, “You’ve Been Trumped” in 2012. The Scottish locals went through what Americans are going through now — total destruction of their home. Trump has been in a fight to get rid of the wind turbines off the coast because they block his view. He lost and now he has to pay the legal fees of the Scottish government.

Trump’s tweet a couple of days ago about the UK and US relations being strengthened by his golf course makes sense now. Trump is trumping Great Britain by threatening the UK government with harm to the US-UK relationship if he is forced to pay the Scottish government’s legal costs in the wind turbine litigation.

“There it is. The president is using an official statement as an ad for his business and making sure everyone knows he ties his business to US relationships with foreign countries.” Walter Shaub

Meanwhile in New York City where New Yorkers have been getting Trumped for decades, another building named after Trump has voted to take his name down. “Trump Place” at 120 Riverside Blvd will be the sixth New York City building to remove Trump’s name since 2016. Trump you, Trump!

Trump’s former attorney, Ty Cobb, said that the Russian probe is not a hoax. He’s done being Trumped.

Drunken high school students in hoity toity richy rich red Newport Beach, California (think spoiled kids of Housewives of Orange County) are in trouble for embarrassing their gated community by arranging their red party SOLO cups into a swastika and then doing the Nazi salute ON VIDEO. It went viral. Newly elected congresswoman, Katie Porter, the first Democrat elected in her district since forever, isn’t having it. Shitty teenagers in Orange County, you have been warned — you won’t grow up to be president. Not anymore.

Trump has trumped the Republican party. Orange is the new red.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.