Ivanka is working on a Trump brand coronavirus vaccine — on sale soon

Fox did a bogus, televised town hall with Trump. They pulled the string and let him go. National debt up 18%? No problem! I’m gonna refinance the debt (Deutsch Bank?) How are we going to cut government spending? We’ll cut entitlements like Medicare and Social Security. Healthcare? We’re gonna come up with something GREAT as an alternative to Obamacare. GREAT. I’ll tell you about it after I’m re-elected just like I said I would in 2016. We have to win back the House and keep the Senate and then you’ll get your really fantastic health care. You’ll see. I’m saving this country. This country was going wrong.

When asked about the coronavirus, Trump bragged about his administration getting “rave reviews” for how they’re handling it. “Nobody is blaming us for the virus. Nobody.”

When a kid stood up and asked Trump about his future plans for the coronavirus he rambled on about approval polls and closing the borders.

Trump never focused on the actual threats to the public’s health or people dying. Doesn’t matter. He only talked about himself and the economy. “I have to say, people are now staying in the United States, spending their money in the US and I like that.”

Libertarian Senator Rand Paul voted against a $8.3 billion bill to fund coronavirus emergency aid. He was the only one who didn’t vote for it. The spread of infectious diseases and the public’s health is not the government’s problem. Nanny state nanny state nanny nanny nanny state!

So far, most of the coronavirus deaths appear to have happened in Washington. Is that because it is concentrated in Washington? No. Unlike everywhere else in the country, Washington isn’t depending on the federal government to handle this public health crisis. It developed its own test so it can perform many more tests, so identifying more cases and confirming deaths is much more efficient and equitable. The University of Washington can test 1,000 people a day now and no one needs to pass the federal government’s qualification test. If your doctor wants you tested, you’re going to get tested. The more tests, the more positive results. That’s why it looks like there are more cases in Washington. Other states have it, they’re just not testing for it, so people are spreading it without knowing they have it.

Doctors are relying on the internet for information because they can’t get straight answers from the government.

The lack of testing is deliberate. If you don’t test, you can’t count. And if you don’t count, no one will know how bad it is and thus, people will keep spending money and Trump’s approval rating won’t go down. Everything can be swept under the rug except that viruses spread under the rug, too.

Trump keeps sneaking in the talking point, “closing the borders” when bragging about how much things are under control in America. The coronavirus is not here because I won’t let the Mexicans give it to us.

As Trump was signing the bill for emergency funding for the coronavirus, wearing his official Stonekettle presidential Disaster Management Windbreaker, he opened his big fat mouth and contradicted the White House’s explanation for why he canceled his visit to the CDC. It’s not because he “didn’t want to interfere with the CDC’s mission” after all. He cancelled because he thought someone at the CDC had the coronavirus but since it “turned out negative” he’ll go ahead and try to go.

Trump is scared of getting the virus but he wants all of us to keep going to work, shopping and attending his rallies. He told Sean Hannity, “A lot of peo­ple will have this and it’s very mild. They will get bet­ter very rapidly. They don’t even see a doc­tor. They don’t even call a doc­tor.”

“If you stop going to work when you’re sick, communism wins.” — Stonekettle

“A lot of people are staying here. They’re going to be doing their business here. They’re going to be traveling here. They’ll be going to resorts here. And, you know, we have a great place … we’re going to have Americans staying home.”

What president has ever said “They’ll be going to resorts here?” The only president who owns resorts.

“This is Dr. Strangelove-level stuff. At the end, Azar says it’s ok that we’re not testing lots of people like Korea is because … wait for it … there are more cases there. YOU DON’T KNOW HOW MANY CASES WE HAVE, AZAR! Status: We’ve tried nothing and are out of other ideas.” — Walter Shaub

Mike Pompeo went on Fox and Friends to try to rebrand the coronavirus as “Wuhan Virus.” Message: It’s China’s fault.

The president of the United Stars tweeted out a Star Wars meme with him and Mike Bloomberg fighting with the caption, “You’re too easy Mike.” This is how the most powerful man in the world spends his time and the whole world knows it.

He’s off to Mar-a-Lago now. It’s been such a stressful week spinning the coronavirus and passing the responsibility off to Pence. Time for golf.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.