Two Time Loser

Spike Dolomite
5 min readJan 14, 2021

Trump has been impeached for the second time. 197 Republicans are on record for not voting to impeach. The 10 who did vote to impeach are: John Katko (NY), Liz Cheney (WY), Adam Kinzinger (IL), Fred Upton (MI), Jaime Herrera Beutler (WA), Dan Newhouse (WA), Peter Meijer (MI), Tom Rice (SC), Anthony Gonzalez (OH), and David Valadao (CA).

Only 10 Republicans put country before party and voted to impeach the loser. The rest of them voted no because they’re scared of Trump and his followers and believe that they will be harmed if they don’t put themselves and their families before the country. The rest of them are with Trump and some are being investigated for working inside the Capitol on behalf of the insurrection.

President Donald J. Trump’s legacy from (2017–2021): Lost the popular vote in 2016, impeached in 2019, lost the popular vote and the electoral college in 2020, impeached again in 2021. He’s the first American president to be impeached twice. On top of that he will have killed 400,000 of his own people by the time he’s dragged out of the White House on January 20.

Trump had to be talked out of going to the House floor to try to defend himself during the impeachment proceeding. He couldn’t lash out at the country by making any more Big Lie tweets so he’s taking his frustration out on what’s left of his staff. Everybody has either taken cover or resigned.

None of Trump’s Republican stooges made a convincing case not to impeach. Everybody who spoke was a 21st Century Crackpot Republican desperately trying to kiss up to Trump by holding on to BLM and Antifa as flotation devices as they circle the drain of the swamp. Congressman Tom McClintock said that every movement has a lunatic fringe and that if we prosecuted BLM and Antifa rioters like we should have the Capitol would not have been attacked.

Impeachment is not The Biggest Loser’s problem right now. He’s about to lose it all.

More than 30 Democrats are calling for an investigation into suspicious Capitol tours that took place the day before the deadly insurrection.

A man in Queens who wanted to join the Proud Boys was arrested with over 1,000 rounds of rifle ammunition, two dozen shotgun rounds, 75 military-style combat knives, two hatchets and two swords, that were part of a plan for violence against newly elected black Senator Warnock.

The guy who wore the “Camp Auschwitz” t-shirt at the Capitol siege was arrested in Newport News, Virginia.

170 people are in custody so far. The FBI has over 100,000 pieces of evidence.

They brought a noose and gallows to the Capitol.

Gold medalist Olympic swimmer Klete Keller was there.

A man from Colorado was arrested. He not only threatened to shoot Nancy Pelosi in the head, he had 2,500 rounds of ammunition.

Lauren Boebert posed with a group of white supremacists in front of the Capitol. Some were flashing the white power sign. Did she give these insurgents a tour? Twitter suspended her account until after the inauguration.

2 cops from Virginia were arrested. Their names are Thomas Robertson and Jacob Fracker.

One of the Capitol Hill police officers who was outnumbered and assaulted by the MAGA mob will lose an eye. Another was shot with his own gun.

A Secret Service officer is under investigation for posting comments on her Facebook accusing lawmakers of treason for certifying Biden’s win and for expressing support for the rioters.

Ali Alexander, the leader of the Stop the Steal movement, is in hiding.

Airbnb is canceling all reservations for the week of the inauguration.

The National Guard is warning Congress to prepare for explosives. 10,000 troops are in DC right now, that’s more than twice as many troops that are deployed in Afghanistan. 10,000 troops are in the US Capitol to protect Americans from other Americans.

Nike will not support any members of congress who voted against upholding the electoral college.

Anti-masker QAnon nut Marjorie Taylor Greene wore a mask while she spoke on the House floor. It read, “CENSORED.” She wants to impeach Joe Biden now.

Congresswoman Ayanna Pressley’s husband has tested positive for the coronavirus. He was with her at the Capitol when they were sheltering in place with skanky, covid infested Republicans. Congresswoman Pramila Jayapal’s husband has tested positive too.

Republicans are insulted by the new metal detectors at the Capitol. They were so obnoxious and disrespectful to the Capitol Police who asked them to go through the newly installed metal detectors that now there’s a new rule — the first time you refuse to go through the metal detector you will be fined $5,000 and it will be deducted from your paycheck. The second offense will cost you $10,000.

Newly elected 25 year old Republican Madison Cawthorn from North Carolina suggested on a live podcast that he had been armed during the lockdown.

Trump told his staff not to pay Rudy’s invoices. He won’t take Rudy’s calls. Rudy is all Trump has got left.

President-elect Joe Biden called on the Senate to continue with impeachment.

6 more days until we can drag that two time loser out of the White House.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.