Ugly American

Spike Dolomite
4 min readApr 9, 2019

--

Bill Barr told Congress that the redacted Mueller report will be released within a week in a hearing this morning. He needs a little more time to cover up the cover up.

When asked if the White House had seen the Mueller Report before he released his summarizing letter, Barr wouldn’t say.

Trump fired the director of the Secret Service. He called him “Dumbo” before he fired him.

While Trump sits on his big fat lazy butt watching Fox News all day, waiting to hear who he should fire next, employees within the Department of Homeland Insecurity wonder who’s next.

Trump’s racist national emergency brain, Stephen Miller, is a self hating Jew white nationalist. His family fled the Nazis. The Nazis! His uncle compared Donald Trump to the Nazis and said his nephew had “become the architect of immigration policies that repudiate the very foundation of our family’s life in this country.”

White nationalists don’t want to claim Stephen Miller because he’s a Jew.

Ilhan Omar called Stephen Miller out for being a white nationalist. “The fact that he still has influence on policy and political appointments is an outrage.”

The Republicans called Ilhan Omar out for being anti-semitic because she criticized a Jew.

Don’t forget that while Trump has taken kids away from their parents at the border, thousands of families remain separated because of Trump’s Muslim Ban.

The ACLU issued a travel advisory for Florida because it’s about to enact a law that will force police and teachers to report undocumented immigrants. The ACLU is urging all immigrants and POC to use extreme caution when traveling in Florida.

Republicans paraded their token black woman, Candace Owens, into a Congressional hearing on white nationalism and tried to spin the hearing as an attack on conservatives. Candice is the attention hungry Fox News talking head who said that “Hitler had some good ideas” and that he just wanted to make Germany great again. Congressman Ted Lieu played a recording of her saying there wasn’t anything wrong with the word “nationalism.” It was quite a spectacle. The self-hating ill-informed black opportunist said that the Southern Strategy, a Republican plot to increase political support among white voters in the South by appealing to racism against black people during the Jim Crow era when Nixon wanted to be president, is a myth and that it never happened. Oh it happened alright. The South voted Democrat until racists were invited to vote for hate. She threw a bit of a fit and called one of the congress members a name. The chair said, “It is not proper to refer disparagingly to a member of the committee. The witness will not do that again.” But they started it! They called me despicable!

Republican Congressman and Trump’s errand boy, Devin Nunes, is suing his hometown paper, the Fresno Bee, for their story linking him to a lawsuit about a Napa Winery’s cruise that allegedly featured hookers and cocaine. #YachtCocaineProstitutes is trending because a little over a week ago Nunes made an ass out of himself by suing Twitter for making fun of him. Tweeters don’t forget.

Trump told ICE to separate immigrant families even if they come to ports of entry as asylum-seekers. That’s against the law.

Trump told reporters, “We have the worst laws of any country anywhere in the world.” When asked why he would make bringing back family separations as a policy, Trump said it’s his best leverage point to force a compromise with the Democrats on immigration.

As reporters were ushered out of the Oval Office Trump told them, “Obama separated the children, by the way. Just so you understand — President Obama separated the children… I’m the one who stopped it… I was the one who changed it.”

Does Trump know how many grand children he has? Does he know their names? Concerned people want to know, not because he’s an old grandpa who seems to really be losing his mind, but because he’s a grandpa who doesn’t give a shit about children, not even his own.

Support the Daily Crime Report on Patreon!

The Daily Crime Reports are being published as “quarterly reports” (three month groups) as part of “The Treason Chronicles” on Amazon for Kindle. To purchase one or more quarters, click here.

--

--

Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

No responses yet