Un-Sealed

Spike Dolomite
5 min readJul 26, 2019

--

The aide who projected the satirical presidential seal at the Turning Point USA Summit for young gullible conservatives has been fired. Event producers swear there was no malicious intent. The guy just did a search on the internet for the presidential seal and downloaded it not knowing that it was a joke designed by graphic designer Charles Leazott a couple of years ago to make his friends laugh. His version of the presidential seal had 45 ES UN TITERE on it (translation: 45 is a puppet), a hammer and sickle and 2 headed eagle (symbols of Russian dictators,) and golf clubs and money in the eagles’ claws. Good one, Chuck. Trump looked pretty stupid adoring himself in front of that image a couple of days ago but then again he looks stupid every day.

The Senate Intelligence Committee released its own report that found that all 50 states were targeted by Russian interference ahead of the 2016 election. That means Trump didn’t win. Who else didn’t win?

Mitch McConnell won’t let the Senate vote on two bills to protect our elections. If he does that, Democrats will win.

An 18 year old kid from Dallas, Francisco Erwin Galicia, spent 23 days in a detention center because Border Patrol didn’t believe he was a US citizen even though he had his Texas ID, Social Security card and a wallet-sized birth certificate on him. He was on his way to a soccer game with some friends and his brother when they were pulled over and asked about their status. His mother had no idea what happened to them. While in CBP custody, Francisco wasn’t allowed to shower. He lost 26 pounds. He was crammed into a room with 60 other men and forced to sleep on the floor with an aluminum blanket. His brother wasn’t born in the US so ICE apprehended him too. He was so scared and miserable he self deported to get out of there so he could call his mom. Now he’s stuck in a dangerous Mexican border town, separated from his family in Texas.

Another child has died in US custody. Carlos Gregorio Hernandez Vasquez came to the US alone and died of an untreated flu complicated by pneumonia and sepsis. The guards left him on the floor of a holding cell, vomiting. He made it to the toilet where he died. He is the fifth Guatemalan child to die since December after being taken into Border Patrol custody. He should have been taken to the hospital. The flu has killed 2 other Guatemalan children in Border Patrol custody in the last 6 months. The optics of this should really piss Trump off but it won’t because he could care less about immigrant children.

Remember, Anne Frank wasn’t executed. She died in a concentration camp from typhus along with her sister.

Emmitt Till would have turned 78 yesterday. He was the 14 year old black boy who got tortured and killed in 1955 by 2 white men who got away with it because they were judged by an all white, male racist jury. His murder helped launch the civil rights movement. There is a roadside plaque commemorating the place where his body was recovered in the Tallahatchie River. It was originally installed in 2008 but has been replaced 4 times because of vandalism. 5 months ago, 3 University of Mississippi students posed in front of it holding a shotgun and AR-15. The sign was riddled with bullet holes. They took a picture and posted it on social media which got them suspended from their fraternity house. Now they face a possible investigation into them by the Department of Justice. Racist little Ole Miss shits.

A New Jersey school board member is refusing to resign over Facebook comments referring to Congresswoman Ilhan Omar as “a terrorist” and claiming that his life would be complete if Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib was dead.

Trump has picked a fight with Sweden on Twitter. SWEDEN. Why? Because they “let our African American community down” by detaining American rapper A$AP Rocky. Free Rocky! All of a sudden he cares about black people? He uses black athletes to curry favor with his racist base by calling silent protest anti-patriotic, he attacks veteran Congresswoman, Maxine Waters, and inspires death threats on her, he incites his MAGA fans to chant about sending 2 black Congresswoman back to Africa, and let’s never forget that he called for the execution of 5 New York teenagers (4 of them black) for a crime they didn’t commit, and accused the first black president of being born in Kenya and thus NOT American.

Trump is picking another fight with Fox now because he doesn’t like their polling numbers. Fox is all he’s got. HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Right wing nut job upate: Danielle Stella, the Qanon whacko who is challenging Ilhan Omar for her seat, is a shoplifter. That should automatically eliminate her from running but she’s a Republican.

Another right wing nut job evangelical update: Fox’s Pastor Robert Jeffress says a border wall is a Christian solution because there’s going to be a wall in Heaven so get used to it. Only their kind of Christians will get to be on the right side of that wall after they die because they’re special and righteous and right. They’ll be sitting with Jesus up there just like they’re sitting with Trump right now down here. Everybody else can just go to hell.

Trump is so excited. He gets to execute people now. Bill Barr reinstated the death penalty after 20 years.

Speaking of getting excited about killing people, a 27-year-old gas station attendant in Detroit thought somebody stole potato chips so he grabbed his gun and ran after him and shot through the front glass door, hitting an innocent bystander in the chest.

Fun fact: Graphic designer Charles Leazott who created the Trump presidential seal, is a former Republican. HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

Support the Daily Crime Report on Patreon!

For a copy of the Mueller Report, click here.

For a list of attorneys giving legal analysis about the imploding Trump presidency on Twitter, click here.

For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.

For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.

The Daily Crime Reports are being published as “quarterly reports” (three month groups) as part of “The Treason Chronicles” on Amazon for Kindle. To purchase one or more quarters, click here.

--

--

Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

No responses yet