Unindicted Co-Conspirator

Spike Dolomite
4 min readAug 22, 2018


News of Trump’s campaign manager and his personal attorney eating legal dust broke at the very same time yesterday which made Trump fall off the toilet and lose his phone for a minute. He’s nobody without his phone. He found it. Paul Manafort was found guilty on 8 out of 18 counts. He’s got another trial in Washington DC on September 17. Like most criminals, he said he didn’t do it, even though he was just found guilty for doing it somewhere else. The newly convicted Trump chump, Paul Manafort, says he’s not guilty of money laundering, failing to register as a foreign agent for his work in Ukraine and obstruction of justice. At the same time, Michael Cohen turned himself into the FBI and pleaded guilty to 8 counts including tax evasion, bank fraud, and 2 counts of conspiracy to commit campaign fraud — paying off a porn star and Playmate so they wouldn’t talk about their trysts with Trump. He told the judge that he did it “at the direction of the candidate” for the “purpose of influencing the election.” Michael Cohen implicated the President of the United States of a federal crime.

Trump is an unindicted co-conspirator.

A couple of hours later Trump landed in West Virginia and tried to pretend like nothing happened. He went out there to hear the cheers of his adoring, brainwashed white fans. “Sympathy for the Devil” by the Rolling Stones played as his devotees chanted, “Lock her up!” All was right with the world for a time. He had his phone, he had the stage, and people loved him.

While Trump was performing for his groupies, Michael Cohen’s attorney went on TV to say his client is ready to talk. Cohen has knowledge about computer hacking and collusion regarding the 2016 election.

While Michael Cohen’s attorney was telling people on TV that his client is ready to blow the whistle, Chuck Schumer let Trump know via Twitter that he better not mention pardons for Paul Manafort or Michael Cohen while at the MAGA rally or ever.

While Chuck Schumer was tweeting at Twitler, Republican Congressman Duncan Hunter and his wife were indicted on corruption charges for using $250,000 in campaign funds to fly to Italy and Hawaii, get dental work, and buy crap they don’t need. Duncan was the second congressman to endorse Trump. The first one, Chris Collins, was indicted two weeks ago.

While all of this was happening, Russian hackers were discovered attacking conservative US think tanks that have broken with Trump and want to sanction Russia, Senator Susan Collins met with Brett Kavanaugh and believes him when he says Roe v Wade is the law of the land, and a category 5 hurricane is headed for Hawaii. That hasn’t happened in three decades.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Bounty witch hunter, Kenneth Starr, says that prosecutors shouldn’t be going on a fishing expedition right now.

The legitimacy of Trump’s presidency has now been called into question.

The original thought on not indicting presidents is that real presidents who want to be president and actually work shouldn’t be distracted by lawsuits while managing the most important job of the most powerful country on earth. A real president should be too busy to watch TV, golf, and tweet to do anything but be president. Now courts will have to figure out what to do with an illegitimate, Russian agent, mob boss, and unindicted co-conspirator who watches TV, golfs, and tweets all day. He’s got plenty of time to be indicted.

While all other news outlets are talking about Cohen, Manafort and Trump’s problems being legal and not just political, Fox News is talking about coal and an illegal immigrant who killed someone.

Yesterday was a good day for America. The wheels of justice have not fallen off!

Congress has an obligation to act.

Here’s what John Dean, former White House counsel for Richard Nixon who went to jail because of his role in Watergate said, “I think we’ve established today that we have a criminal president, and that is historic.”

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ACTION ITEM: Trump broke the law to win the White House. His presidency is illegitimate. He should not be able to choose a Supreme Court justice to determine his fate, now that he could be an indicted co-conspirator. Call your senators to say all actions and hearings for Brett Kavanaugh should be off.



Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.