Up Against the Wall with the Redneck Muthas

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJun 24, 2021

Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff General Mark Milley (the guy Trump used as a cast member for his Reality TV President episode where he walked through Lafayette Park after clearing BLM protesters so he could get a photo op — he was in uniform and apologized afterwards for participating) was put on the spot by the Republicans in a House Armed Services hearing yesterday when he was asked to comment on Critical Race Theory. He responded forcefully by saying “I personally find it offensive that we are accusing the United States military, our general officers, our noncommisioned officers of being quote ‘woke’.” He blamed the attack on the Capitol on white rage and said he himself wants to understand systemic racism and expects that military university graduates should be “open minded and be widely read”.

Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz, who publicly lectured the highest ranking general in the Defense Department on morality in the military took a shot at him afterwards on Twitter: With Generals like this it’s no wonder we’ve fought considerably more wars than we’ve won.

Matt Gaetz also tweeted: We must defend our patriotic military service members against their woke leadership.

Only a punk ass redneck mediocre white man spoiled rich kid and who skated into Congress and could be indicted any day for sex trafficking would dare do such a thing.

“To be fair Gaetz, the same Matt Gaetz who faces potential sex trafficking charges, which he denies, did also tweet to free Britney Spears, which kinda makes him a freedom fighter.” — Brian Williams, on his show

Later on in the evening Laura Ingraham expressed her outrage on her show over a general wanting to confront racism and called for defunding the military. Redneck muthas say “Hell ya!”

The first MAGA militia member has been sentenced for their role in taking the Capitol — a 49 year old hairdresser red state mutha from Mike Pence’s home state, Indiana. She got probation because she didn’t know anything about assassinating Mike Pence and she didn’t stab any police. Plus she’s white. Willie Simmons has been in prison for 38 years because he robbed a man of $9. He’s black.

Some of the organizers of the insurrection paid off their mortgages after January 6. Where did the muthas get the money?

7 months after the election an investigation by Michigan’s Republican led Senate Oversight Committee found no evidence of widespread voter fraud in 2020 and recommended that Michigan’s attorney general investigate individuals who made false claims “for their own ends.” This won’t be reported on Fox News. Don’t be too impressed. They’re still going forward with 39 new voter suppression laws. “Stop the Steal” was a fraud but they’re going to “stop nonexistent fraud” in Michigan.

Republicans in Florida have passed a law requiring public colleges and universities to survey professors and students for “intellectual diversity” (political beliefs.) The state legislature will decide if institutions are “diverse enough.” If not, they’ll be sanctioned. Governor DeSantis has threatened cuts to their budgets if they decide students are being “indoctrinated.” Senate President Wilton Simpson calls state colleges and universities “socialism factories.”

Also in Florida, there was a covid outbreak inside a county government office building. 4 people were hospitalized and 2 are dead. The one guy who is vaccinated is fine. Employees are still expected to show up for work without masks, social distancing or vaccine requirements.

Florida is falling apart. One entire side of a 12 story, 100 unit condo in Miami collapsed this morning. It literally just fell down. 45 units were impacted. A search is happening right now for survivors and bodies. One has been found dead so far. These kinds of things are going to keep happening in “Don’t Regulate Me” redneck states.

Former NRA president David Keene was set up by Manuel Oliver, father of Joaquin Oliver who was shot and killed at Parkland, by inviting him to give a commencement speech at a fake high school. He had him do a dress rehearsal in front of 3,041 empty chairs. Unbeknownst to him they each represented one senior who isn’t going to graduate because they were shot and killed this year. As expected, he talked about the second amendment and encouraged them to fight for the right because he’s a red no-check mother fucker. The video, “The Lost Class”, was produced by his nonprofit, Change the Ref, that honors his late son.

MAGAs in Kentucky held a 5 day country western festival, “The Rednake Rave” outside of a town so small it doesn’t have a stop light. Tens of thousands of meth addicts and drunks showed up to partake in mud wrestling, demolition derby, goldfish racing, a full scale football game and two steppin’ to live music. One redneck slit his friend’s throat, another strangled a woman until she passed out, one guy lost his finger, and another drove over a log which broke through the bottom of his RV and went through his body. He was airlifted to the hospital with the log still inside. There were 14 arrests. One person died. These are the redneck muthas who gave us Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul.

Speaking of drunken redneck muthas at a concert, Jill Biden got booed on stage in Tennessee after she encouraged the crowd to get vaccinated.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.