Update! Update!

Spike Dolomite
4 min readAug 26, 2022

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Espionage update: New count for the number of documents that Trump took when he left — 700. He went through all of them personally before turning some of them over to the FBI. He lied about the rest. He’s isolated and paranoid, trapped at Mar-a-Lago, manically posting on his Truth Social account. The only thing that’s new is now he claims that Biden is setting him up. It’s obvious he is flying solo and has no family or friend support, nor is he getting good legal advice. All of the people who have been kissing his ass, telling him what he wants to hear and lying for him are gone. For the first time in his life he’s faced with no way out. There are 4 separate Trump investigations going on and he’s got loans coming due that he can’t pay. He’s cornered.

He filed some ridiculous, nonsensical motion that didn’t help his case at all. The judge asked him, “How can you be here? Why are you here? What is this filing? Why aren’t you before the other judge? Have you bothered to comply with the service of process rules?”

Judge Reinhart has ordered the release of a redacted version of the Mar-a-Lago affidavit today unless the DOJ appeals. Identities of uncharged individuals and sources and methods have got to be blacked out to protect witnesses and the integrity of the case.

Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis is seeking testimony from Mark Meadows, Sidney Powell and other Trump allies. There are 15 targets in the investigation.

Sean Hannity threatened to sue Democratic Pennsylvania Senatorial candidate John Fetterman for calling him a liar and he called for Mitch McConnell to go — “ditch Mitch.” He will be questioned next Wednesday by lawyers representing Dominion Voting Systems in its $1.6 billion defamation suit against Fox. Tucker Carlson will be questioned on Friday. Lou Dobbs, Jeanine Pirro, Steve Doocy, Rupert and Lachlan Murdoch have also been deposed.

Trump released a memo attacking Mitch McConnell and his wife, Elaine Chao implying that they be criminally prosecuted. He said Mitch should “immediately” be replaced as Senate Minority Leader.

Two people who stole Joe Biden’s daughter’s private diary to try and sell to Project Veritas have pleaded guilty.

The DOJ has asked for the longest prison sentence for a convicted insurrectionist — 17 years. Former NYPD officer and Marine Thomas Webster bludgeoned a fellow police officer with a flag pole and tried to gouge his eyes out.

Another former police officer from Virginia, Thomas Robertson, got 7 years last week. He too attacked fellow police officers.

The former political director of Right to Life in Texas, Luke Bowen, was arrested for soliciting sex online of a minor. Will he still participate in the scheduled Texas Youth Summit coming up with Matt Gaetz, Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene? Nobody would be shocked if he did.

Pete Arredondo, the school district’s police chief in Uvalde, Texas, got fired by the school board for his failed response to the mass shooting that killed 19 students and 2 teachers at Robb Elementary School. That took 3 months.

Kimberly Cheatle is the new head of Secret Service. She’s got 25 years experience and Biden must really trust her because she was part of his detail when he was VP.

The official White House Twitter account has been calling Republicans out by name who are mad about the student loan forgiveness program. They are posting the amounts they received in PPP bailout funds during covid, in separate posts and people are loving it.

Biden made a speech at the DNC rally in Maryland yesterday where he called the “MAGA Republicans” out for what they’ve done to abortion rights. He ended with, “In this moment, those of you who love this country — Democrats, Independents, mainstream Republicans — we must be stronger, more determined, and more committed to saving America than the MAGA Republicans are to destroying America.” He’s inviting his old friends in Congress to knock it off and do right by America.

The memo from Barr’s DOJ about the Mueller Report was released. No surprise — Bill Barr covered for Trump. The Mueller Report was released in March of 2019, and Barr spun it to say Trump was not guilty of obstruction of justice even though there were 10 clear cases of obstruction of justice. Anybody who took the time to read the redacted report (which can be found online) already knows this. He got away with protecting Trump because hardly anybody bothered to read it. The Republicans proudly admitted that they didn’t read it. Only 3% of the country did. 97% of the country helped Barr help Trump obstruct justice.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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