Useful Idiots

Spike Dolomite
4 min readNov 8, 2024

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They voted for an 80 year old man, the oldest man ever to be elected, a man with dementia who craps his pants and jerks off the microphone when making speeches. The media ignored his age after relentlessly reporting the other guy was way too old to be president.

They voted for a man who has been found guilty in civil court for sexual assault and has been legally accused of at least 13 more. He was close friends with a notorious sex trafficker of young girls and children. The media didn’t find that important enough to write about.

They voted for a convicted felon who was supposed to be sentenced in a couple of weeks but now it looks like all federal investigations are going to be halted and he won’t be held accountable for ANYTHING. The media has completely ignored this.

They voted for a president who tried to overtake the government, with the help of Republican members of Congress and an army of half wits. NONE of them will suffer any legal consequences for what they have done and the media has given them all a pass.

They voted for a conman who got them to keep buying cheap shit made in China to finance his campaign. He conned them into voting for him. The media helped by letting everybody know about his junk.

They voted for the most unqualified person to be president, even after being president for four years. He beat the most qualified candidates to ever run for president because they were women. The media hasn’t called any attention to that fact.

They voted for the most racist man in America and soon they’ll be swept up by ICE and held in detention camps before being deported. The media will show up for that because it will get plenty of clicks and likes.

They voted for him because they say he’ll be better for the economy. They let their true selves shine through that they care more about the price of eggs and gas than they do their neighbors, friends and co-workers. They’ll find out soon enough that he won’t be good for the economy. He’s going to crash it along with the world economy. The media will report on this endlessly and nothing else.

They voted for him, secure in their whiteness, that he won’t be coming for them. He’ll be coming for everybody eventually, except for the insanely rich and powerful. The media will continue to kiss his ass so he won’t come for them.

They voted for him because he, and Fox News, and the internet made them feel smart. They’re not smart and those pulling the strings all know it. They’re nothing but useful idiots to those who hold power. The media knows this too. The right wing media exploits them and the left wing media is afraid to embarrass the useful idiots so they politely don’t say anything.

They voted for him thinking he was just kidding about things that could possibly affect them. Women are dying right now because they can’t get abortions. He let people die from COVID. He’s already killed people. There will be more. The media will be too afraid to report on that.

They voted for him even though the world’s greatest enemy, Vladimir Putin, dictator of Russia, has been telling Trump what to do. He will dismantle NATO and hand Ukraine over to Putin. They don’t care anything about this because they don’t know where Ukraine is or who Putin is. The media could have helped with this by explaining it so a sixth grader could understand because the average MAGA voter has a sixth grade education, but they didn’t. The media doesn’t feel it needs to educate anymore. It needs to entertain.

They voted for the world’s biggest sinner and said he was sent by God. They bought Trump branded Bibles from him. The media didn’t pay much attention to that because they didn’t want to mix politics with religion.

They voted for a man who doesn’t want to be president, who ran the most destructive, hateful campaign in history. He did it to stay out of jail. Trump doesn’t want to be president any more than he did the first time. The media should report on that.

The presidential election is over and so is America. Trump won. White supremacy and misogyny won and nobody but the authors of Project 2025 know what to do now.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.