Waiting for the Next Shoe to Drop

Congress won’t be back in session for another week and the country is a nervous wreck, wavering between “We need a break from this shit” and “If I take a break from this shit I might miss something, like maybe the end of the world.” The shoe is falling! The shoe is falling!

Trump tweeted first thing this morning: Has anyone noticed that the top shows on @foxnews and cable ratings are those that are Fair (or great) to your favorite President, me! Congratulations to @seanhannity for being the number one shoe on Cable Television!

Some of the rambling fools at Fox are taking steps back from Trump and that enrages the mad king. Not Sean Hannity, though. He’s still singing the baby to sleep every night. The shoe fits and he’s wearing it for all it’s worth.

Little by little, Fox is breaking with Trump. They should get no applause or appreciation. They are a propaganda network for the GOP and are partially responsible for the mess we’re in right now. They deserve severe and permanent consequences for that, not gratitude. The shoe is never on the other foot in the land of Fox. It’s one size fits all. White. Straight. Old. “Christian.” No acceptions.

The last official White House press briefing was 172 days ago but Fox keeps talking and talking and talking and yelling at its audience as if they have been attending press briefings.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe she had so many fears she didn’t know what to do so she turned on Fox News and they told her what to do so she never has to question why she’s living in a shoe.

Trump will keep blowing through the treasury, hiring more attorneys to defend his crimes in office, staying at his own properties every weekend and America will keep footing the bill.

Just a reminder that we’re still taking our shoes off at the airport because one guy tried to blow up a plane with a bomb in his shoe but we haven’t done a damn thing to keep people from getting shot at schools, movie theatres, night clubs, shopping centers, churches, temples, or in their own homes by a mentally unstable wife beater who is off his meds and has been drinking all day.

Have you noticed how protected Melania is? The press leaves her alone and the Republicans don’t blame her for Trump’s wandering wiener like they did Hillary.

How many shoes does Melania have in her closet? How many skeletons?

Cinderella, you dropped your shoe. Go back to Slovenia where the mad king who was never your prince can never find you.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Republicans love calling themselves the party of Lincoln while trying to maintain modern day slavery at the same time. A new pair of shoes? I don’t think so.

We don’t hear much about Trump’s sex and rape scandals these days because the news cycle is usually dominated by his other crimes.

One two buckle my shoe, three four slam the door, five six pick up chicks, seven eight lay them straight, nine ten go to prison.

Twitter’s co-founder, Jack Dorsey, got his account hacked resulting in him tweeting out anti-Semitic hate speech. Meanwhile, his company says it can’t use its autoban system to filter neo-Nazis because it would inadvertently filter out Republican politicians at the same time.

Bleeding Gums Eric likes his dad’s mean tweets — “I like his message. Leave!”

Trump taunted Iran by sharing a classified picture of a blown up Iranian launchpad on Twitter and said the US didn’t do it.

“Ok, which one of you clowns put real intel into the president’s daily intel briefing?” — Jeff Tiedrich

Remember when the Iraqi journalist threw his shoes at Bush during an Iraqi press conference 11 years ago and everybody went, “What was that?” and found out that Muslims will do that in order to insult someone. Now we have a president who insults everybody, all over the world, all of the time. Someone needs to do the world a favor and throw cement shoes at him.

There are 10 openly gay or bisexual members in Congress and they’re all Democrats. Does that mean that there is no such thing as a gay Republican? Of course not. They’re just in hiding, voting for legislation that discriminates against the LGBTQ community and using derogatory terms like “light in the loafers.” Since 1971 there have been 7 known gay or bisexual Republican members of Congress and they were all outed (except for the career politician Larry Craig from Idaho who got busted for soliciting sex from an under cover police officer in an airport bathroom in 2007 — he pleaded guilty but swore he wasn’t gay.)

Does that mean that all of the Republicans who have been hiding behind and from Trump during the worst moment in the great American experiment will be outed for being traitors and criminals and that we can have real hope that shoes won’t fall on us after all?

You bet your boots.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.