War on Christmas
The annual war on Christmas has officially begun! The 50 foot Christmas tree that stood outside of the Fox News studio in mid-Manhattan in New York was set on fire and burned to the ground. No jumping around the burning bush for Laura Ingraham and Fucker Carlson, this is WAR! Was it set by Antifa? Hunter Biden? Hillary? It has to have been Democrats! Let the attack on Christianity begin! We’re oppressed and liberals want to destroy Christmas. AGAIN!
The right wing bubble is all aglow with attacks on Christmas, as is their holiday tradition. If their audience was capable of critical thought they’d have to wonder why this war hasn’t ended yet because it’s been going on for a really long time and they still celebrate and say Merry Christmas but oh well, we’re oppressed! This is war!
Lauren Boebert didn’t want to be out done by Thomas Massie’s online Christmas card so she posted a picture of herself with her 4 young sons in front of a Christmas tree, all holding huge long guns. The oldest kid looked pretty miserable. Was that because he was a typical tween who didn’t want to be anywhere or was he disgusted that his mom was making him do this.
Lauren Boebert’s female counterpart in Congress, Marjorie Taylor Greene, is all worked up in a lie soap lather over the holy season. She doesn’t believe in evolution. She believes in God! That’s really funny because she looks more like a representative of Early Man than a member of Congress. Marjorie Magdalene was joined by three wisemen wise guys — Matt Gaetz, Paul Gosar and Louie Gohmert, at a press conference that they called to denounce the treatment of the patriots being held in jail for defending their lord and savior, Trump. They told reporters that the political prisoners were being treated worse than the prisoners at Guantanamo and that they are being indoctrinated with critical race theory training and told to denounce Lord King Trump! They are being told that they’re in a cult! We must save them in time for them to get out and fondle their guns in front of the Christmas tree on Republican Baby Jesus’s birthday! After they finished defending the insurrectionists, Matt Gaetz said he’d like Trump to be Speaker in 2022. Then they threw frankincensed into the crowd and walked off in a treasonous huff.
Christianity fun fact: Jesus was a dark skinned middle easterner, a socialist liberal. Republican Jesus is just the opposite — white, American, and a gun toting “conservative” who spends his birthday hating everybody.
Love your neighbor as yourself means love only those people who live in your gated community (if you’re a Republican today and you have money.) If you don’t have money, love your neighbor as yourself means guilt free orgy block parties.
Today’s Republicans need to have a come to Jesus moment.
“The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree of knowledge. The subtext is, ‘All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your fucking mouth shut and hadn’t asked any questions.” ― Frank Zappa
Another representative of Republican Jesus, disgraced former Army general Mike Flynn (who has been subpoenaed by the Select Committee,) was once presented with a brand new assault rifle as a gift at a church and said he’d use it on someone in Washington DC after he accepted it, said at another event recently on stage, “If we are going to have one nation under God, which we must, we have to have one religion. One nation under God, and one religion under God.”
One god — Republican Jesus.
If you want to talk about a war on Christmas, Christians need to confront what has become of their religion as a result of Republicans exploiting, manipulating and scaring them into doing their bidding. They need to confront what has become of Jesus instead of hating on liberals and screaming about being oppressed. Cold hearted seething anger and blaming the other isn’t a virtue, especially at this time of year.
Republican Jesus birthday party — invitation only and bring your own guns. There’s your war on Christmas.
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