Spike Dolomite
4 min readFeb 15, 2024

22 people were shot at the Kansas City Super Bowl parade to celebrate the Chiefs’s win. Half of them were kids. 1 million turned out for the parade and every one of them had the freedom to bring as many guns as they wanted to the parade, even kids (as long as they got the guns from their parents). There are basically no laws regulating guns in Missouri — no background checks for private sales, no permit requirements for open or concealed carry, no registration requirements, no license requirement for gun owners, no assault weapons law. Their gun nut governor was at the parade and was seen running for his life. Now will he want laws to protect the public from getting shot, now that he almost got shot? Weird.

While the shooting was going on in Kansas City, there was another shooting at a high school in Atlanta. While the shooting was going on in Atlanta Trump was bragging at a MAGA rally in South Carolina that nobody messed with the second amendment when he was president.

A high school student in Ontario, California was arrested and is facing attempted murder charges for plotting a school shooting after a classmate let law enforcement know that this kid was “fixated on school shootings and had access to weapons.” When a state has tough gun laws cops can respond as soon as a threat is reported and yank that gun out of the wanna be killer’s hands. Unlike wanna be killers in Missouri where the cops can’t do anything until the killer starts shooting people.

MAGAs in the House say there is a new security threat besides the border. Space! Look out! Russia can attack us from way up in the sky. After they announced the threat they all scattered for a two week break. What if Russia nukes us from space while they’re gone? Hello? This is weird. The immigrants are gonna get us from the border and the Russians are gonna get us from the sky and Congress is taking a nap. When they get back they’ll probably shut the government down because they weren’t here to write and sign off on new spending bills before March 1.

In Look at Me I’m a Good Christian news — Fox News Laura Ingraham did her show with a big black smudge on her face where her brain is supposed to be. X marks the rot, fake Christian. Did on air personalities display their devotion to Republican Jesus on their foreheads before Trump? It seems kind of messy. And weird. And distracting.

When a reporter asked weirdo Marjorie Taylor Greene about Republicans refusing to give aide to Ukraine, she got mouthy, as usual. The reporter quoted UK Prime Minister David Cameron. To that, Marge said she doesn’t care what David Cameron says and that he can “kiss my ass.” Marjorie Taylor Greene will be making the MAGA’s case for convicting Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas in the Senate as she’s one of the impeachment managers. America is already holding its breath because it’s gonna be weird. Weird.

Trump says when he fumbles and calls Nancy Pelosi Nikki Haley and Nikki Haley Nancy Pelosi he does it on purpose but his critics don’t get sarcasm.

Trump attended the first hearing for the Stormy Daniels campaign finance case today. He did a show for the media outside to talk about how “you get mugged and shot” walking down the street in New York because he’s not president anymore and now here he is — being forced to show up for a trial where his enemies are just going to waste his time and try and make him out to be a bad guy. What he did wasn’t illegal. What about shooting people on 5th Avenue? Is that illegal? Not really! Besides, I didn’t really shoot anybody. With a gun anyway. Shut up, weirdo. The judge got to the point right away. He’s going on trial March 25. That’s 5 weeks away.

One of Trump’s psychophants, Mike Roman, one of those indicted in Fulton County, cooked up a scheme to get Fanni Willis off the case by calling into question that her boyfriend is one of the lawyers on the prosecution’s team which is a conflict of interest. The first hearing is today.

“Fuck Those Kids” Democrat in name only Joe Manchin is thinking about running for president as third party with Mitt Romney as his running mate which tells us that things are just going to get weirder.



Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.