Welcome to the Thumbderdome

Trump hosted a reality TV roundtable meeting with big important pharmaceutical executives to talk about the coronavirus on camera. He made a fool of himself when he tried to push the CEOs to “accelerate” a vaccine right now. Like come on, you’re making me look bad. I heard a vaccine will be ready in a few months. Right? RIGHT? I know Tina Turner. Good friend of mine. We need a hero and that hero is gonna be me.

Thumbs up!

Wrong again, Tom Thumbs. Dr. Fauci, the US director of infectious diseases was one of the experts at the table and did his best to not make Trump look bad by explaining to him as if he was an elementary school teacher that that’s not how vaccine development works. The soonest they could have a vaccine is in a year, maybe the fall.

Trump sat there with his arms crossed tightly across his man boobs and said really stupid stuff like, “Well, I think treatment in many ways might be more exciting,” and “This would be a combination of a vaccine and also it will — put it in a different way — make you better, quicker?”

What the hell did he just say? Is he trying to thumb wrestle the all powerful pharmaceutical industry?

A reporter asked him if it was safe or appropriate for him to be holding MAGA rallies during a public health crisis. “Well, these were set up a long time ago and others are — I mean, you could ask that to the Democrats because they’re having a lot of rallies.” He said he thought his MAGA rallies were safe and then off he went to another one where he told the crowd to stick thumb tacks in their necks. They did. Then he yelled that Buttigieg and Klobuchar should be impeached for making quid pro quo with Joe Biden. “They made a deal!”

All together now, everybody cough! Yes, Dear Leader! Suck my thumb! Yes, Dear Leader!

Mike Pence said he’s going to brief the public every day. “Let’s be clear — the risk to the American people of the Coronavirus remains low.” Thumbscrew you, you lying sack of HIV spreading thumbnails.

The only thing the public knows for sure is that Mike Pence and Trump are lying which makes people want to sit in a dark room, rock back and forth, and suck their thumbs but they won’t because they’re not going to touch their own faces BECAUSE THE CORONAVIRUS COULD BE EVERYWHERE! It may be too late for hand sanitizer!

A second case in New York has been reported and a New York City high school has been closed because of a suspected case.

Thumbs down.

The latest death count in Washington state is 6. A physical therapist has the symptoms and tried to get tested but to no avail. Her experience of trying to get information from a variety of different sources showed her that the government has no idea what it’s doing and is sitting around with its thumb up its ass.

When a reporter called city officials in Kirkland, Washington, the epicenter of the coronavirus outbreak, to ask if they had heard from anyone on the White House task force they said, “Not directly.”

The government is thumbing a ride to anywhere but the truth.

Low income and elderly people are in limbo right now, not knowing if their medical plan will be of any use to them during a global health emergency. If you’re on Medicare or Medicaid the government says that it has to review what will or won’t be covered in terms of coronavirus testing and treatment. In other words, we have no idea what we’re doing. They’re all thumbs.

FEMA is preparing for a possible coronavirus emergency declaration but it doesn’t have enough staff or experienced leaders to deal with it if it does happen. They don’t have deputy directors and the current directors are acting directors, like substitute teachers. Lesson plans? We don’t need no stinking lesson plans! Let’s watch a movie! How about Thumbelina?

The CDC was supposed to hold a telephone press briefing at noon yesterday but they canceled it without explanation.

The Trump administration has no credibility and now they expect us to believe what they’re telling us about their coronavirus response. They’re thumbing their noses at us. Again.

Up until 4 days ago, Trump was calling the coronavirus a Democratic hoax.

“One day it’s like a miracle, it will disappear. And from our shores, you know, it could get worse before it gets better. Could maybe go away. We’ll see what happens.” — Trump

It’s Super Tuesday. Let’s vote the shit out of them.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.