What Day Is It?

Spike Dolomite
4 min readMar 29, 2020

Trump delivered 170 broken ventilators to California. Massachusetts has received 17% of the medical supplies they requested, Maine got 5%, New York got 2%, and Florida got 200%.

Trump is a full time resident of Florida.

Trump is denying federal assistance to blue states which is killing people. Since he’s calling himself a “war time president” then this is biological warfare and he’s using it against his own people.

The US has hit 100,000 coronavirus cases with 2,000 deaths. The number of deaths doubled in 2 days.

The governor of Florida, Trump wanna be Ron DeSantis, is blaming the governor of New York for spreading the virus to his state. He has set up check points to screen anybody who has New York license plates. They’re not screening anybody for the virus, they’re just screening people for how New York they are and then making them stay in quarantine for 2 weeks if they don’t turn around and go back. Floridians don’t have to be quarantined. Actually, he’s leaving that up to county officials. They can decide how to deal with the spread of the deadly virus that has already killed 56 people in his state. One county might tell people to stay home and a couple of feet away in another county officials are telling everybody to party and swap spit at the beach. There have been over 500 new cases in the past 24 hours.

One third of the world is on lockdown except for fucking Florida.

Trump’s Mini Me DeSantis is working with experts to make a cheap generic malaria drug that Trump told people to take, but not every county in Florida will get it. He says while he’s not a doctor, he wants people to be able to go ahead and take it because Trump is his hero and anything Trump says and does is everything DeSantis wants to say and do. Other than setting up check points that won’t make any difference and passing the buck to counties, DeSantis is making everything worse by denying the Miami Herald and Tampa Bay Times access to his press conferences because that’s what Trump would do.

The Navy hospital ship has left Norfolk, Virginia. The Defense Secretary Mark Esper kissed Trump’s ass in a ceremonial press conference. “I’d like to thank Donald Trump for his bold leadership … your leadership is uniting the American people to defeat this virus.” Trump tried to look humble and said, “I can say this from the bottom of my heart — I am very proud to be your President.” America barfed. Well, most of America did. The ones who didn’t are cleaning up Trump’s barf.

On February 7 Mike Pompeo tweeted this from his official Sec of State account: We have coordinated with US organizations to transport more humanitarian relief to people in Wuhan. Personal protective equipment and other medical supplies donated by these organizations can help save lives in China and help protect people from the coronavirus.

Six weeks later he dubbed it the Wuhan Virus.

At the time Mike Pompeo tweeted out US support for China, Trump was sending 17.8 tons of masks, respirators and other medical supplies to China WHILE telling his cult members at his MAGA rallies that the coronavirus was a Democratic hoax meant to keep him from getting re-elected.

At the same time that Bill and Hillary Clinton sent over 400 pizzas to hospitals in New York “as a small token of their appreciation for everything medical professionals are doing for their communities” Trump was letting hospital workers wear trash bags and bandanas in lieu of scrubs and masks because he’s a sadistic totalitarian sociopathic fucker.

We’re now at the part where nobody knows what day it is anymore.

It’s Sunday morning and Joel Olsteen is socially distancing in his 17,000 square feet, 6 bedroom, 6 bath, 5 fireplace, 3 elevator house in Houston. Keep those checks coming, suckas!

It’s Sunday morning and Jeanine Pirro is hung over after being shitfaced wasted drunk on her Fox News show live from her house last night.

It’s Sunday morning and Muslims are still giving away groceries, cleaning supplies, personal hygiene products and hot meals at their drive through system in Houston.

It’s Sunday morning and doctors and nurses are still showing up to work at hospitals knowing that they will more than likely contract the virus in order to save lives.

It’s Sunday morning and Nancy Pelosi is in Washington DC, working.

It’s Sunday morning and Trump is congratulating himself on being the greatest president of all time, as usual.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.