What? This Old Thing?
Twitler dared Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi to snub him and they did. Before their scheduled meeting, he tweeted, “Meeting with ‘Chuck and Nancy’ today about keeping government open and working. Problem is they want illegal immigrants flooding into our Country unchecked, are weak on Crime and want to substantially RAISE Taxes. I don’t see a deal!” Pissed, Chuck and Nancy stood him up and called for him to behave like a president. This annoyed the president so he had paper name placards made up and strategically placed them on either side of him to dramatize their absence before berating them before the cameras and inviting Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan to do the same. Just like Clint Eastwood and the empty chair — crazy old men and a bewildered audience that doesn’t know where to look.
Here is an excerpt from his crazy old man monologue: Nancy and Chuck weak on crime and illegal immigration. They’re weak on the military. They want tax increases and we want tax decreases. They’re all talk and no action but they should show up now because of the missile launch. We’ll take care of North Korea. We’re going to get the bill passed and it will be very popular. Lots of good things are going to happen. Consumer confidence is the highest it’s ever been because of the person leading the country. There was a phenomenal meeting with the Republican Senators. They’re special. It was a love fest.
The Republican’s evil tax bill made it out of the Senate Budget Committee even though it had to recess a couple of times because protesters weren’t having any of it. People got arrested and were dragged out of the Capitol as the 12 Republicans voted yes and 11 Democrats defiantly voted no. America asked, “Wait a minute. What’s going on?”
Trump’s FCC chairman, Ajit Pai, a former Verizon lawyer, wants to destroy Net Neutrality. He wants to give control to the government and internet providers. They’ll decide what we see on the internet. If he succeeds, the internet will no longer be free and open. Sites will be blocked. Free speech will no longer be protected. An essential part of our daily life and communication will be taken away from us. The FCC will vote on Pai’s proposal on Dec. 14. Call your members of congress and tell them you want to preserve Net Neutrality!
A judge has ruled that tobacco companies have to run TV ads admitting that they kill people. Gun industry — you’re next.
Ivanka Trump is in India right now at the Global Entrepreneur Summit. She is there representing the United States, giving the world the message that if you’re born into a filthy rich American family you can be an entrepreneur, too. This event is sponsored by our State Department but none of the big shots from the State Department are there. That’s because we don’t have much of a State Department and whoever works there hates her.
Republican hypocrite fun fact: Kellyanne Conway and Sarah Huckabee Sanders are mothers. They are endorsing and defending an accused pedophile. This defies nature. Kellyanne and Sarah are unnatural.
The White House has taken away staffers’ cell phones while they are at work because they’re paranoid that the staffers will leak.
Trump is paranoid that he’ll leak because he has an old bladder.
North Korea launched another missile into the ocean.
Hawaii has started nuclear attack drills. Sounding alarms will be their new normal.
NBC fired Matt Lauer for being a perv. At this rate, all men are eventually going to get fired, leaving women and transgenders to run things which is probably a good thing. Imagine that, transgenders who were litigated out of peeing in public restrooms because they might molest a child as some of the last ones standing.
Twitler tweeted about Matt Lauer this morning. The President of the United States is a tweeter. The president tweets in the middle of the night because he’s old and can’t sleep. Somebody save us.
Twitler only follows 45 people on Twitter. He rarely retweets (except for Fox News and his kids.) At 3 a.m. this morning, he retweeted 3 videos originally posted by Jayda Fransen who lives in Great Britain — Muslims pushing a boy off a roof and beating him to death, Muslims destroying a statute of the Virgin Mary, and a Muslim beating a boy on crutches. The President of the United State is a crazy old man and we need to invoke the 25th amendment, stat!
Hey crazy old man living in the glass white house! You shouldn’t be throwing stones. Or tweets. Or anything else for that matter. And whatever you do, don’t fart. Old men must never trust a fart, especially if you live in a glass house because we can see you.
