What Was That? Nothing!

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJan 25, 2021

Yesterday was the first Sunday that Americans could actually sit back and relax. No breaking news. No Trump tweets. The new president humbly attended mass and then went to work followed by 2 gorgeous, well cared for German Shepherds who came barreling through the White House, making the Biden First Family complete. Finally, dogs are back! And one is a rescue!!! Major makes history by being the first rescue dog to live in the White House! Welcome Champ and Major!!! Be careful — don’t step in any of Trump’s poop!

The Sunday morning news shows gave voice to the minority, the losers, the Republicans, as usual, so they could whine and blame the Democrats but that’s nothing new. The Sunday morning news shows have always favored Republicans. The networks should collectively call their Sunday morning shows, “Sunday with Satan.”

Evangelicals aren’t telling everybody to pray for the president anymore because the new president doesn’t pray to Republican Jesus. No, the new president is a life long Catholic who humbly lives his faith without shoving it in everybody’s face. He does not support an official state religion as well he shouldn’t. Religion doesn’t belong in government, as per the Constitution that Republicans and evangelicals regularly ignore. Being a Catholic, he’s personally against abortion but doesn’t think it’s the government’s place to legislate how many children a woman is expected to bear.

Evangelicals can shut the fuck up now. A moral man and the Constitution are back in charge.

Speaking of crackpot hypocritical hateful evangelicals, Sarah Huckabee Sanders is following in her preacher daddy’s footsteps and is ruining, er running, for governor of Arkansas. Will she run as a Republican or a member of Trump’s Patriot Party? Her only experience is lying for Trump and insulting reporters and then collecting a paycheck for sitting on her ass and never doing press briefings. She’s a lazy liar fake Christian but don’t laugh. She could get elected and ring in a Hickabee Huckabee Dynasty where everybody in the family gets to be governor. She’s kicking off her campaign by bashing the media and liberals because it worked so well for Trump. She says “I took on the media, the radical left and their ‘cancel culture,’ and I won. As governor, I will be your voice, and never let them silence you.”

Senator Josh Hawley has filed a counter ethics complaint of his own against the Dems who filed an ethics complaint against him for his role in the insurrection saying that the Dems are being partisan and abusing the process.

It hasn’t even been a week and predictably the Republicans are blaming the Democrats for the big pile of shit that they handed them while calling themselves victims. The Republican talking points are being laid on thick — Radical left. Partisan. Socialist democrats. Famous last words.

The Republicans in Arizona are just as whacked as they are in Pennsylvania. They passed a resolution censuring Senator John McCain’s widow, Cindy McCain, Governor Doug Ducey and former US Senator Jeff Flake. The three of them are like, “OK.”

Marco Rubio says convicting Trump would be “stupid.”

Dominion Voting Systems is suing Rudy for $1.3 billion for false election claims.

MAGAs, Proud Boys, and QAnon weirdos are having second thoughts about their cult leader. They get it now that they’ve been duped, but don’t think that that means that their eyes are open now and they’ve seen the light of reality. They’re still nuts and are actively looking for another Q and Trump. They’re not going anywhere. They’re ready to be used by the next Republican totalitarian traitor.

“We have a real life, autocratic movement in this country that will be supported in the next election by 40 percent of the country.” — Steve Schmidt

A significant portion of our population has been radicalized and the rest of us have been in fight or flight for 4 years. It’s hard to relax because it’s so unfamiliar.

4 times as many jobs were lost last year due to the pandemic than during the worst part of the global financial crisis during the Great Recession in 2009. The only people who are unemployed now who are to blame for their fate are the Trump loyalists who can’t find a job now because nobody wants to have anything to do with them.

Trump is no longer the center of attention and he can’t tweet. Did you hear that, America? Nothing. It was nothing. Ahhhhhh……..relax.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.