What’s So Funny?

Spike Dolomite
2 min readMay 25, 2023


House Democrats laughed their asses off for a solid 30 seconds after Marjorie Taylor Greene, who was presiding over the chamber again because she uses Kevin McCarthy’s chapstick, banged the gavel and told them to “abide by the decorum of the House.” She heckled President Biden during the State of the Union in that very chamber.

Ron DeSantis’s big presidential campaign roll out on Twitter was a big dud. There was a long period of silence at the beginning so people logged off. Then there were technical difficulties. Then Ron talked. #DeSaster trended on Twitter afterwards.

After DeSantis bombed on Twitter he was interviewed by Howdy Doody Children of the Corn Trey Gowdy on Fox and said, “The Woke Mind Virus is basically a form of cultural Marxism. We have no choice but to wage a War on Woke.”

Ron DeSantis got married at Disneyworld in 2009.

Marjorie Taylor Greene and Ron DeSantis are the bubble butts of jokes.

Noelle Dunphy says Rudy Giuliani made her call him “Mr. President” during sex.

Lindsey Graham dated Laura Ingraham back in 1999.

Mitch McConnell outlived Twitter.

Nobody trusts Kevin McCarthy — even the ones who support him.

“I ran out of Kevin McCarthy jokes.” — Christopher Bouzy

Trump refers to attorney general Letitia James as Peekaboo James.

Rupert Murdoch was married to Jerry Hall who used to be married to Mick Jagger.

Idaho Republicans blocked a bill to make tampons available for students, calling it “woke.”

“Look over there! It’s Hillary’s emails!” — Jeff Tiedrich

“Hunter Biden needs to sit front and center at his dad’s inauguration, holding a laptop on his lap the entire time.” — Alex Cole

Trump’s lawyers need lawyers now.

Fox News calls public school Democrat camp.

Missouri set up a hotline to report trans people and it was so overrun with pranksters clogging it with fake reports that they had to shut it down.

“Democrats want to make us all poor. They want to make you live in downtown areas, and high-rise buildings, and walk to work, or take the subway, or ride an electric scooter, or whatever it is that Pete Buttigieg takes to work.” — Tom Cotton

“If I wrote a character like Tom Cotton, and named him ‘Tom Cotton,’ I would feel like a supremely lazy writer. He’s a cartoon of a racist Arkansas Republican, with a cartoon name. Rejected alternative names for Tom Cotton: Billy-Bob Plantation, Jedidiah Klansman, Joe Slavery” — David Avallone

Trump says America was energy independent when he was president.



Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.