Whistle a Happy Tune

Spike Dolomite
3 min readSep 19, 2019

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Good news! A whistle blower has come forward with knowledge that Trump made a promise to a foreign leader on the phone that compromises our national security. The Inspector General took the complaint and tried to take it Congress like they’re supposed to, but the Acting Director of National Intelligence stopped it. Why? This is huge. This could be IT. This could make the Mueller Report look like a bedtime story.

We don’t know what was promised or to whom. All we know is that it has to be really significant and that Trump and his fixers are in a complete panic. They have pulled the DOJ in for protection and have tried to contort the whistleblower law to keep it all secret.

Inspector General Michael Atkinson is sitting in front of the House Intelligence Committee behind closed doors right now. This is going to be a hell of a day.

The Acting Director of National Intelligence will testify publicly before the House Intelligence Committee on Sept 26. That will be an even more hellish day.

Will the Republicans ignore this too? Is there no line that Trump crosses that the Republicans won’t move or excuse?

Whistleblowers put their jobs and careers on the line. The people leaking to Washington Post are risking it all to do the right thing.

Trump’s Israeli counterpart, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, lost election but is refusing to concede. Trump will too.

Trump almost blurted out secret information at the border while he was signing the border wall with a Sharpie on camera. The Border Patrol had to interrupt him and politely inform him he can’t share classified information with the world.

After the House Judiciary Committee shit show, Corey Lewandowski ran to Fox News for validation and then went on CNN to say he is under no obligation to be honest with the media. CNN needs to stop booking him. They’re spreading fake news when they do.

Trumps says they’re not doing anything about gun legislation. They need to take their time. He blamed Beto O’Rourke for scaring everybody. He called his plan to buy back guns a “slippery slope.”

Mike Pompeo called the attack on Saudi Arabia an act of war. Iran says, bring it on. “This is all out war.”

Dick Cheney’s daughter, war loving Liz Cheney (like father like daughter) is the number 3 House Republican and is calling for “proportional military” strikes against Iran. “I think it’s got to be a response that’s significant enough that it lets the Iranians know that this sort of attack on the global oil supply won’t be accepted.”

Saudi Arabia owns the 45th floor of Trump Tower. The Saudis own 45.

Is the foreign leader MBS? Did he promise him a war?

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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