Whistle Stop

And another whistleblower is considering coming forward to back up the first whistleblower’s report. Trump must be flipping the fuck out. He could spend the rest of his days alone in a cell with no TV, phone or Twitter. He doesn’t read so how would he pass the time? Will he have a cell mate? Will Trump talk the poor guy’s ear off? Would that be considered cruel and unusual punishment for the prisoner stuck with Butthead Whistle Spit?

Trump is so paranoid and pissed right now that he’s firing people he thinks could be whistleblowers. He’s sending his new National Security Adviser, Robert O’Brien, to RUSSIA.

Trump is saying, without directly saying it, that what is happening to him right now (getting caught and facing consequences for a lifetime of crimes) is the worst thing that has happened in human history.

Trump is one of the worst things that has happened in human history and he could be THE worst if he’s not stopped.

Moscow Mitch has said that he would have no choice but to let the Senate vote on impeachment if it gets to that point but he’s running ads saying he’s the only one who could stop impeachment. Trump is putting pressure on the House to vote NOW so Moscow Mitch can kill it.

Republican Senator Ron Johnson from Wisconsin, one of the biggest Trump ass kissers, conspiracy theory pushers and friend to Russia, slipped and said that a US diplomat, Gordon Sondland, told him in August that Trump had bribed Ukraine with the promised $400 million in military aid. Gordon Sondland’s name comes up a lot in the whistleblower’s complaint. He was slick enough to text don’t text. Call instead. The House wants to depose him. He’s filthy filthy rich so he’s lawyering up right now. He donated $1 million to Trump’s inauguration but didn’t use his own name. The donations were made through four Oregon and Washington companies connected to him.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Ron Johnson said that Russia interfering with our election “is not the greatest threat to our democracy. We’ve blown it way out of proportion.” Ron was one of the members of Congress who spent the 4th of July in Moscow last year.

What’s the deal with Wisconsin? It used to be a cool blue state and then they went and voted for villains Ron Johnson, Paul Ryan and Scott Walker. Get it together, Wisconsin. Redeem yourselves.

Another Republican Senator, John Cronyn from Texas announced on Twitter that Trump’s Justice Department is investigating foreign government influence, VP Biden conflicts of interest, and possible corruption. Trump is concerned about corruption. Trump, of all people, spinning a corruption investigation. That’s yesterday’s talking point. Today it could be Russian orphans.

We still don’t know why the RNC threw Ukraine up on their platform at the last minute during the 2016 convention. What for? Who knew what and when?

When White House economic advisor Larry Kudlow was asked if he could assure people that Trump wouldn’t ask China to help him win reelection as part of their trade talks he said, “I can’t assure you of anything.”

Of course China would help Trump annihilate his political rival. They do that kind of thing all the time, like Russia.

Trump says his fight with the Democrats and the media has led to a Christian revival bigger than any in history. He got a call from the most important pastors who said they’ve never seen anything like this. The evangelicals are gonna save Trump. That’s punny.

Mitt Romney has stepped out a little further to put his big toe in the impeachment cesspool. He got under Trump’s skin. He tweeted: Mitt Romney never knew how to win. He is a pompous “ass” who has been fighting me from the beginning, except when he begged me for my endorsement for his Senate run (I gave it to him), and when he begged me to be Secretary of State (I didn’t give it to him). He is so bad for R’s!

It’s been nearly 3 years and we’ve only had 2 whistleblowers and that’s just in the last week. Why?

There has been only 1 Republican to call Trump out and abandon the GOP. Why?

Why is everybody so afraid of this guy? What’s he gonna do? Tweet at you? Give you a stupid nickname? Call you a disgrace? Or could it be that everybody is afraid he’ll blow the whistle on them?

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.