White House of Pancakes

Arizona is the new epicenter of the Trump Plague. It just hit its all time coronavirus high — the most ever new cases, deaths, hospitalizations, and ICU patients. The perfect setting for Trump’s mini MAGA rally in a megachurch, with 3,000 twenty something pasty white, maskless virgins. They clapped wildly when Trump said, “Kung flu…..COVID, COVID-19, COVID, I said what’s the 19. COVID-19, some people can’t explain the 19.” A young woman named Regan made a speech in which she talked about Aunt Jemima being “cancelled.” She said the original Aunt Jemima was the picture of the American Dream…….a freed slave who went on to be the face of pancake syrup and now people want to erase her legacy.

The folks back home watching all of this were like WHAT THE FUCK? Creeped out, they switched channels and kept scrolling only to be back at WHAT THE FUCK again when they saw black people pounding on the windows of the convention center in Kentucky that had locked them out so they couldn’t vote.

Regan posted on social media that her white skin is a gift from God and that preachers wanted her to apologize for it. She got fired that. After showing the world how clueless she is and that her only understanding of African American history is the unnecessary rebranding of a breakfast food product, the only thing she may be qualified for now is a job working in the White House of Pancakes.

The megachurch got the attention it wanted, but it was not the best kind of attention. The crowd chanted, “Lock her up!” and gave the thumbs up when Trump said that Democrats’ movement is based on hate, and “ours is based on love.” Not their best come to Jesus moment. White people were televised applauding racism and hate in their sanctuary. Pastor Smiley isn’t smiling now. Blinded by the white. Rev’d up like a douche, another runner up in the pass the pancakes birthright.

While there in Arizona, Trump made a stop at the border to sign the wall for a photo op. Within a few hours he put out a racist campaign video using footage from his whites only trip.

US Customs and Border Protection was given a budget of $112 million for food and medicine for migrants. They spent a chunk of it on ATVs, dirt bikes, and boats so they could raise more hell in the desert. Hit the road, Flap Jack!

Texas hit 5,000 new cases in single day for first time.

The country is up to 30,000 new coronavirus cases a day — the worst infection rate in the world. Trump keeps hammering on the need to test less. He tweeted AGAIN: Cases are going up in the U.S. because we are testing far more than any other country, and ever expanding. With smaller testing we would show fewer cases!

South Korea considers 17 new cases of the coronavirus to be a second wave.

Europe is reopening its borders on July 1 to travelers except for the US. Americans aren’t welcome because we’re dirty, disease infested foreigners, with world trust and respect flat as a pancake.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.