Whoa

Spike Dolomite
3 min readApr 28, 2023

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Mike Pence testified all day before Jack Smith’s grand jury about what he knows about Trump trying to overturn the election. Every attempt that Trump made to keep him from being questioned failed.

A former vice president testified against a former president about an attempted coup. Whoa.

Trump hugged a MAGA insurrectionist who spent time in jail for him at a diner last night. She is a member of the QAnon group, Negative48 and called for the execution of members of Congress who certified the 2020 election.

The Trump campaign paid a firm to investigate the 2020 election and they just concluded that there wasn’t any cheating by the Democrats. Total cost: $750,000.

Disney is suing DeSantis for government retaliation.

Trump didn’t show up to court the first week of the E. Jean Carroll rape defamation civil trial. He posted about it on Truth Social though which got him in trouble with the judge. He called it “entirely inappropriate” and warned Trump’s attorney, Joe Taco Penis, that further commentary from his client about the case could open him up to “a new source of potential liability.”

E. Jean Carroll’s attorney, Roberta Kaplan, read Trump’s Truth Social posts to the court that disparaged the case as being “a total SCAM.”

Trump forced himself on Carroll in a Bergdorf Goodman dressing room in New York City in the mid-1990s.

The jury is made up of six men and three women. They get to stay anonymous because Trump could endanger their lives. This is what happens with mob trials. Whoa.

E. Jean Carroll’s lawyers will get to play the Access Hollywood tape, and other women who have been sexually assaulted by Trump will get to testify.

Trump’s lawyer tried to discredit E. Jean Carroll by saying that since she didn’t scream and call the cops, it didn’t happen. Lots of rapes go unreported because the victim usually goes on trial so women keep quiet. Lots of women don’t scream when they’re physically attacked either because they’re terrified that if they do they’ll be killed.

E. Jean Carroll said, “I’m here because Donald Trump raped me.”

E. Jean Carroll is 79 and hasn’t had a relationship with a man ever since Trump raped her because she’s so traumatized. She lost a lot of friends and her career suffered. She was an advice columnist for Elle Magazine.

Trump refused to submit his DNA. There is male DNA on the dress that E. Jean Carroll was wearing and kept, but it can’t be proven that it’s Trump’s because he won’t give up his DNA.

Trump’s defense? She’s not my type.

Whoa.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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