Who’s Criming Now?

Spike Dolomite
3 min readAug 31


While Republicans in Tennessee continue to silence Democrats who want to make laws to make it harder for killers to get guns while ignoring grieving parents begging them to do something after living through a mass shooting at their school, mass shootings go on. There was one in North Carolina at UNC Chapel Hill. One professor was killed. Another one at a high school football game left one teenager dead and 4 injured in Choctaw, Oklahoma.

A baby girl was unintentionally shot and killed by her 3 year old sibling who found a gun in their home.

A 9 year old shot and killed a 6 year old in Jacksonville, Florida.

Canada has issued a travel warning for LGBTQs going to the USA. They could get shot by a homophobe. Don’t go.

The Catholic Archbishop of San Francisco raped so many children and paid so many attorneys to cover up systematic sexual abuse that they had to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. More than 500 lawsuits alleging child sexual abuse have piled up.

The Catholic Diocese of Camden, New Jersey is paying a $87.5 million settlement to more than 300 victims of childhood sexual abuse. This is the largest payout so far.

A Christian boarding school in West Virginia, Miracle Meadows, has reached a $100 million settlement for the sexual, physical and mental abuse of students.

An evangelical youth pastor and kindergarten teacher in North Carolina, Aaron Mirtsching, was arrested for possessing images depicting the sexual abuse of children between the ages of 8 and 10 and more child sex crimes.

Keith Martin Gouger, of Powder Springs, Georgia was found guilty of aggravated child molestation, aggravated sodomy and cruelty to children in the 2nd degree. He was sentenced to life in prison.

Two more sexual misconduct allegations have emerged against CPAC Chair Matt Schlapp from young men who say he hit on them. Vice Chair Charlie Gerow called for an outside investigation on his way out the door. He resigned.

None of the above crimes were committed by sex crazed, immoral, Godless Democrats. One of the Republican talking points is that Democrats are pedophiles. Hasn’t happened yet. Pedophiles are usually loud mouth Christians and Republicans.

Junior got wasted and ranted about people profiting from his dad’s mugshot. He wants people to buy their merch from him to “support the cause.”

Republicans are saying that blacks will vote for Trump now since he has a mug shot (just like them).

Glenn Beck asked Trump if he regretted not locking Hillary Clinton up when he could. “If you’re president again will you lock people up?” Trump replied, “The answer is you have no choice because they’re doing it to us.”

Jack Smith is looking into Rudy’s drinking.

Rudy lost the Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss defamation lawsuit.

Mitch McConnell froze up again after a reporter asked him if he was going to run again. Looks like he had another mini stroke. Memes making fun of him aren’t popular.

Another major difference between the right and left. The sex crazed, immoral, Godless Democrats can even feel compassion for someone as horrible as Mitch McConnell.



Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.