Withering Idiots

Spike Dolomite
3 min readJul 31, 2023

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The DC police and the Secret Service have met to discuss possible violence if withering idiot Trump gets indicted for inciting the insurrection.

District Attorney Fani Willis has sent her staff home to work for next three weeks to insure their safety in case MAGA violence breaks out after she announces her indictments. She says she is “ready to go.”

Trump added a new line to his stump speech for withering idiots — “I’m being indicted for you.”

Trump has spent $40 million on legal bills from his PAC this year. That’s all money his withering idiot cult followers keep giving him to “fight election fraud.”

“Trump converted a political campaign into a criminal organization” — Norm Eisen

As Trump walked on stage at a GOP event in Iowa over the weekend, a country western song by Brooks and Dunn blasted with lyrics timed just right — “……one could end up going to prison, one just might be president.”

Trump is taking more of a mafioso approach to his campaign this year. He’s threatening prosecutors by saying if they prosecute him while he’s running for president, something bad will happen to the country (never mind that he hurt the country and that’s why he’s being prosecuted). Nice country you got there, it would be a shame if something happened to it.

Withering idiot Trump is ranting about Hillary’s 33,000 emails, Bill Clinton’s socks, calling Biden a “dumb son of a bitch” in his speeches, and calling for Jack Smith, Merrick Garland, Lisa Monaco, and other prosecutors to go to jail.

Out of 44 former Trump cabinet members who were asked if they’d support him again for president in 2024, only 4 said yes.

The lawyer who stole and broke into voting machines in Michigan has been indicted. This is after Trump’s 16 fake electors were indicted.

In Arizona, the state Democratic Party has taken in nearly 10 times what the GOP has for the year. Newly released campaign finance documents and Federal Election Commission data show that the Republican Party of Arizona has brought in only $132,980 while the Democrats have brought in $1.25 million. Arizona could get a lot bluer next year because the idiot Republicans are withering.

Republican Derrick Van Orden, the drunken freshman withering idiot congressman from Wisconsin who made an ass out of himself inside the Capitol after boozing it up in his office is defending his drunken belligerent behavior by saying he was just reacting to the rotunda being disrespected by teenagers who laid down in it to take pictures. He said it was sacred because it was used as a field hospital during the Civil War. He yelled at them to get out and called them jackasses and pieces of shit in the rotunda that he respects so much. He participated in the Stop the Steal rally and was one of the MAGA idiots who attacked the Capitol that he loves so much.

Justice Samuel A. Alito Jr. says that Congress has no authority to impose an ethics policy on the Supreme Court. They can do whatever they want.

The economy keeps growing. It grew 2.4% last quarter, smashing all expectations which is pissing the Republicans off. Things are good for the country now after being so bad under Trump. The GDP grew 13 days in a row. Yale Professor Jeffrey Sonnenfeld said that Biden is having the strongest positive effect on the economy of any US president since FDR.

Biden called out the Republicans for the damage they’re doing to the military. “Something dangerous is happening. The Republican Party used to always support the military, but today, they are undermining the military.” He let Senator Tubby the Tuba Tommy Tuberville have it for holding up military appointments for reasons he’s too stupid to understand. “Tens of thousands of America’s daughters and sons are deployed around the world tonight keeping us safe from immense national security challenges. But the senator from Alabama is not,” Biden said. “For the first time in more than 100 years, we don’t have a sitting confirmed commandant of the Marine Corps.”

Tuberville responded in a tweet: My holds only affects generals and flag officers — 300 of the nearly 2 million people in the United States Armed Forces.

Tubby the Tuba thinks he’s winning because it’s 300 to 2 million. Tubby the Tuba is a withering idiot.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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