Woke Joke

Spike Dolomite
4 min readMar 17, 2023


A woke snowflake in Iowa presents Ron DeSantis with a gift that he doesn’t get

New information just came out about the Fulton County special grand jury. There’s another recorded conversation between Trump and Georgia’s House Speaker, David Ralston, where Trump pressured him to call a special legislative session to overturn Biden’s 2020 win. He refused.

20 staff and members of Mar-a-Lago have been subpoenaed regarding the top secret documents case.

A former Republican city councilman in Ammon, Idaho was sentenced to a minimum of 3 years and a maximum of 33 years in prison for sexual battery and lewd conduct involving his adopted daughter. She’d lock her bedroom door and he’d pick the lock to get in and rape her. He hid a cell phone in a vent above her bathtub to watch her. She found it and discovered naked pictures of her on his phone. Byron Wiscombe isn’t a trans person or a drag queen, just another white cis gender good Christian who repeatedly raped his daughter for 7 years. She was his sex slave and he was her dad.

Boogaloo Boi, Stephen Parshall of Las Vegas was sentenced to 33 years in federal prison after pleading guilty to multiple child sex exploitation crimes. The cops found disgusting images of him raping a child on his phone after they went through his phone after busting him for conspiring to cause violence at a BLM protest in May 2020.

California isn’t all woke. There are Republicans who reside in the state, but they’re out numbered by woke people. One such scum bag serves in the state legislature. His name is Bill Essayli and he’s from Riverside. He wrote a bill that would force schools to notify parents if their kids start identifying as the gender not on their birth certificates which won’t ever fly because he’s outnumbered in the state legislature. To the west in Huntington Beach where a lot of Republicans live, they just banned flying pride flags on public property. No surprise there. Covid was out of control in Huntington Beach because people not only refused to do anything to slow the spread, they went out of their way to keep others from protecting themselves and by shaming and discriminating against woke people.

1,000 people have been arrested so far for attacking the Capitol. Another 1,000 are expected to be arrested.

Ron DeSantis is on an unofficial anti-woke tour, running for president when he should be in Florida running the racist, homophobic, fascist state. The latest on him is he’s backing legislation to make it a felony to give an undocumented immigrant a ride in your car or invite them into your home. He also revoked the Hyatt Regency’s liquor license in Miami for hosting a drag show.

The teacher in Florida whose video of empty library shelves went viral got fired. DeSantis did a press conference to blame the woke left and media for cooking up a “hoax” about him banning books which the media then dutifully reported without investigating Ron DeSantis banning books.

Hunter Biden is suing the owner of the computer repair shop for improperly retrieving and disseminating personal data from his laptop. His legal team has sent letters to Rudy Giuliani, Roger Stone, Steve Bannon and 11 others, asking them to preserve potential evidence for future lawsuits related to the alleged theft of personal data that may include information from his laptop.

81 year old Mitch McConnell was transferred to a rehabilitation center for treatment for a concussion after he fell at the Waldorf Astoria at a private event in DC a week ago. Woke people aren’t being mean on social media by making terrible comments about how awful that man is. They tweeted out a lot of thoughts and prayers, though. Woke people know what they mean.

Two senators who have really dumbed themselves down to prove that they aren’t woke are doing their best to distance themselves from all things woke. John Kennedy who has TWO elite degrees and talks in a heavy hick drawl in order to be more relatable to his constituents in Louisiana said, “These woke, high IQ stupid people, they walk around with zip lock bags of kale that they eat to give them energy. Now, if you want to eat kale that’s up to you. I don’t eat kale. You know why? Because kale tastes to me like I’d rather be fat.” Sell out Marco Rubio slams Democrats in an awkward way by referring to them as “radical left-wing lunatics, laptop liberals, and Marxist misfits.” He wishes the country had two normal political parties. What the hell? Is he saying that the Democrats are the abnormal party? Um, “wokeness”, “critical race theory”, “pronouns”, transgenders peeing in public restrooms, killing babies after they’re born, deep state, voter fraud, Hunter Biden’s laptop, Hillary’s emails, covid is a hoax, this is all crap that Republicans cooked up to avoid doing anything while keeping their uptight, sexist, homophobic, racist voters freaked out and worked up. All that stupid insanity gets liberals woked up.



Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.