Wouldn’t It Be Nice

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJun 11, 2021


The minority has taken the lead this week, aided by fake Democrats, nice Democrats, and institutionalist Democrats. The filibuster is safe, racists are out and proud, democracy is hanging by a thread, Trumpists are everywhere in government and Trump and his loyalists still appear to be untouchable. Real nice.

Chuck Schumer said on the Senate floor, “The Republican Party is now wrapped around the axle of the Big Lie. And a big reason why is that Republican leaders are unwilling to move on from Trumpism.”

Nice, but…….

Trump had the DOJ secretly spy on Democrats and reporters in 2017 and 2018. Those who were spied on are just finding out now. The DOJ subpoenaed Apple for communication records on ranking member of Congress Adam Schiff as well as Eric Swalwell and other members of the House Intelligence Committee, their staffs and family members, including one minor. They were looking for information on what they had on Trump’s campaign working for Russia. They hunted leakers and investigated anyone investigating Trump. They did it under the direction of both Jeff Sessions and Bill Barr. Many of them are still in the Justice Department today. This is way, way worse than what Nixon did. Will Merrick Garland let it go and ask everybody to be nice?

A new report by the Inspector General of the Department of Interior says the cops didn’t gas or shoot BLM protesters with rubber bullets in order to clear Lafayette Park a year ago so Trump could exploit the moment. It’s just a coincidence that he got to walk through an empty park 20 minutes after everybody left with his attorney general and a uniformed general plus other persons of power to stand in front of a church to get a picture of himself holding a Bible. The IG is telling all of America who watched it over and over on TV that they didn’t see what they saw. We’re supposed to believe that Trump was planning on walking out there with a Bible whether there were protesters there or not. Nice try.

Morale couldn’t get much lower inside the Capitol Hill Police Department. The Republicans refuse to investigate the insurrection and it doesn’t look like the DOJ is going to go after Trump. Capitol Hill officer, James Blassingame, wants people to understand what’s going on. He said, “I’m 39… I’ve never been called a nigger to my face in 39 years, might have been called a nigger, but I’ve never been called to my face. That streak ended on January 6. I was called nigger, I was called traitor… I just want to make sure people understand……..As bad as it was, we did our job, no member of Congress was harmed. … to have to see these people every day and they don’t have our back; something as simple as just trying to find out what happened so that it doesn’t happen again — my fear is this was the tip of the iceberg.”

In your face racism is rampant in government right now. Mitch McConnell says we don’t need any anti-discrimination voting laws because that’s already illegal. Tom Cotton humiliated the first black secretary of defense in a hearing by making him answer yes or no questions about racism in the military. Ron DeSantis is making a huge deal out of Critical Race Theory not being taught in Florida’s schools (code: He doesn’t want teachers talking about race at all.)

Talking about race is not good for the Republicans so be nice.

Right now Critical Race Theory is only being taught in law school. The Republicans have grabbed on to it and created a racist campaign where they’re telling their audience and followers that black people and liberals want to indoctrinate their children with pro-black propaganda. They want them to be ashamed of being white. “Minorities are trying to destroy white culture!” Critical Race Theory is the new Mexican caravans storming across the border. Their voters won’t educate themselves on systemic racism and white supremacy any more than they will on immigration so they’ll keep turning up the heat so racists will keep voting for racists. Nice and tasty racists, you’re almost done.

Tucker Carlson invited Glenn Beck on his show so he could take back what he said about Obama being a racist. No more Mr. Nice Guy. He’s turning the heat up: “If you believe in Critical Race Theory you’re a racist.”

Joe Biden is in Europe right now and it’s so nice. He didn’t bring his entire family. He hasn’t farted at the dinner table. He hasn’t slapped any women on the ass and told them they had a nice butt. And he hasn’t called America a shithole country in front of the world. That’s all the progress that was made this week. Wouldn’t it be nice if the Dems would step it up?

Nice guys finish last, Dems. Turn up the heat and BOIL them.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.