Ya Butt

Members of the Oath Keepers are about to appear in court any minute now and they’re not going take the fall for Trump. The American people will start hearing more and more about the days before the attack on the Capitol without a bi-partisan commission because idiot MAGA defendants are going to squeal like babies and cry for their mothers to save their own butts because they’re not the big, tough, 2nd amendment patriots they think they are. They’ll tell all. Republicans won’t be able to hold things back like they think they can because things are scattered everywhere and everybody involved is too stupid. Their efforts to thwart the investigation into them trying to overthrow the government will not be successful. The Pentagon was in on it. The General Flynn brothers were in on it. So was the White House, members of Congress, and Steve Bannon. The Proud Boys, the Oath Keepers, and MAGA militia didn’t plan it. They were just carrying out orders. The result was a failed coup. Republicans are doing everything in their power to minimize it and sweep it under the rug so they can rewrite history and try again with smart people next time.

A guy named Ken Lippenstein tricked Matt Gaetz, Matt Schlapp and Dinesh D’Souza into reposting his tweet of his grandfather in his military uniform for Memorial Day but it wasn’t really his Pop Pop. It was JFK assassin Lee Harvey Oswald. The stupid buttheads don’t know what Lee Harvey Oswald looks like which means they probably don’t know who he is either.

Instead of honoring Memorial Day in a normal, traditional and respectful fashion by attending a local parade, visiting the cemetery or having a BBQ and telling stories of dads, grandpas, sons and uncles who served in WWII, MAGAs in South Florida had another boat parade for Trump. Drunk, fat, half naked white people with their butt cracks showing, whooping and hollering as they speed by other drunk, fat, half naked white people, with their butt cracks showing, whooping and hollering, Trump flags flying. Hey Trump groupies! Do you know who Lee Harvey Oswald was? Trump’s Pop Pop? No, just another dumb ass like you all trying to over take the US government.

MAGAs are coming out with their own Bible called, “God Bless the USA Bible” which goes on sale September 11 to commemorate the 20 year anniversary of 9/11 because MAGAs are just as informed about 9/11 as they are about Memorial Day.

A group of 117 unvaccinated staffers from Houston Methodist Hospital filed a lawsuit seeking to avoid the hospital’s coronavirus vaccine mandate, saying it’s unlawful for bosses to require them to get shots.

Speaking of anti-vaxxers charged with keeping the public safe, a 33 year old cop in Denver just died from covid. He changed his Facebook profile pic on April 23 with the banner, “I don’t care if you’ve had your vaccine” and on May 7 with, “I have an immune system.” Unlike hundreds of thousands that died before him, his family got to be with him when he died because they were vaccinated.

MAGA owned stores are posting signs now that say you can’t come in with a mask which just makes sane people want to wear their masks indefinitely. These idiots have their heads so far up their own butts they can see Lee Harvey Oswald.

Ron DeSantis is in a battle with the cruise lines. They don’t want anybody coming on board who hasn’t been fully vaccinated. Ron DeSantis says that’s against the law. He thinks he’s an all powerful big shot now, but he’s going to get his butt kicked when the Matt Gaetz story blows up. He’s Trump without Russia, a man without a country.

50% of adults have been vaccinated, up 49% from the day Biden took office.

Teens with anti-vax parents are finding ways to get vaccinated in spite of their pain in the butt parents. Their moms and dads were trying to find a way to buy beer at their age and now their poor kids are defying their wacko parents to protect themselves from a deadly virus.

Oklahoma’s Republican attorney general, Mike Hunter, has announced that he is embroiled in personal scandal and has resigned. Must be pretty bad since the lawless Republicans let everything slide. The more controversial the better. Murder? No problem as long as it was with a gun. I’ll cover your butt if you’ll cover mine.

Meanwhile Texas’s attorney general, Ken Paxton, refuses to resign even though he’s been under multiple bribery scandals and FBI investigations for years. His own staff turned him in. Republicans don’t mind. He could murder somebody and they’d still invite him to headline CPAC next year.

Former House Speaker and Trump butt kisser Paul Ryan is urging Republicans to reject Trump’s divisive politics and anybody in the GQP that emulates him. He wants to look like a good guy by saying that the Capitol insurrection marked a “dishonorable and disgraceful end” to Trump’s presidency. Since Paul Ryan never does anything for the right reason he must be resurfacing because he’s going to run as the Reagan Republican in 2024. He was on Team Trump until he wasn’t. He enabled that monster and people died. He’s a butthole. That’s his legacy.

A guy logged into his court hearing via Zoom in Michigan and got a tongue lashing from the judge for his lack of respect because his user name was Buttfucker 3000.

Republiqans are talking out their butts. Will the media keep treating them like they’re not or will they start reporting the real story which is the Republiqans are trying to overthrow the government?

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.