Yankee Doodle Tyranny

The 4th of July has traditionally always been a celebration of the end of tyranny. We eat hot dogs and hamburgers, light fireworks and get all happy and sentimental about how free we are. Now what are we supposed to do?

Congress is taking the entire week off for the July 4th holiday to celebrate what?

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Republicans are back in their home towns and cities this week, hiding from constituents and pandering to donors at fundraisers.

Alex Jones has on very good authority that the Democrats are planning a revolution on July 4. Look out for the blacks! Look out for the immigrants! Look out for the liberals! Look out for the gays! They’re coming for YOUR America!

What’s Trump doing for July 4th? Serving up barbecued bald eagle on the White House lawn and keeping the world safe from democracy.

The FBI has arrested a suspect who was planning a terrorist attack in Cleveland on July 4th. His plan was to give children of military service members remote control cars filled with explosives at a parade. The FBI found out about it and stopped him — the same FBI that Trump says is part of the deep state that is setting him up and trying to take down America.

Michael Cohen has changed his mind about taking a bullet for Trump. He told George Stephanopoulos in an interview that he may not let Trump shoot him on 5th Ave after all. He loves his family, country and the FBI too much. Trump must have heard the news first thing in the morning because he didn’t dump all over America during his morning dump and Twitter rant yesterday.

He’s back in the saddle again this morning, though — on the toilet tweeting about saving us from North Korea, crazy Maxine Waters, making the economy great again, ICE keeping us from getting murdered by MS-13 gang members the minute we open our front doors, and getting to pick the next Supreme Court justice. Look over there! And there! And over there!

If the Democrats take back the House in November, Maxine Waters becomes chairwoman of the Financial Services Committee and can subpoena Trump’s bank records. CRAZY!

The Neo Nazis who killed Heather Heyer want to celebrate their one year anniversary back in Charlottesville, Virginia on August 12 but Charlottesville said no. So they looked into having their anniversary rally really close to the White House. Washington DC said yes.

Trump told Fox News that he’s running this country like a top. That’s an expression only old white people use. Tops have gone the way of broken records and dial phones. Millennials don’t know what a top, record or dial phone is. Keep it up, carrot top, but you better hurry, your base is dying off.

Canada has hit America back with $12.6 billion in tariffs which could put Trump’s followers out of work but he’s not worried. He’ll just blame Obama, Hillary or the Democrats and his followers will then blame them too, standing in line for government assistance that they don’t want anyone else but them to get.

Trump is pushing for the FART Act (United States Fair and Reciprocal Tariff Act) which really stinks. It gives him even more power than he has already taken. He wants to blow up decades of trade relationships with our allies to show them who’s boss. Trump doesn’t know anything about economics.

The US FART Act.

Trump’s rich friends are starting to get snubbed. Fox News talking head, Alan Dershowitz, says defending Trump has made him a victim of discrimination — “I have experienced this firsthand on Martha’s Vineyard. Old friends are shunning me and trying to ban me from their social life.”

A moment of silence for Alan Dershowitz. We want to hear what his old friends are whispering.

Scott Pruitt got schooled by a school teacher holding her baby at a restaurant while eating lunch. He abruptly left, feeling discriminated against. Did he pay his bill?

The White House official Twitter account tweeted out attacks against two sitting female senators — Elizabeth Warren and Kamala Harris. Warren was accused of supporting criminals moving weapons, drugs and victims across our borders. Harris was accused of “supporting the animals of MS-13.”

The White House is in mayhem.

Trump refused to fly the White House flag half-staff to honor the 5 journalists killed in Annapolis but then he relented. Bad optics.

It’s on all of us to capture that flag and take it back from the tyrant in the Oval Office.

The Fourth of July is tomorrow. Take a knee, America.



Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.