Yes, Butt
MAGAs are beside themselves, giddy with excitement over their blue collar billionaire hero invited them to his birthday party for America. They’re so excited they’re already sticking fireworks up their butts.
Trump tweeted this while most of the country was still in bed this morning: HOLD THE DATE! We will be having one of the biggest gatherings in the history of Washington, D.C., on July 4th. It will be called “A Salute To America” and will be held at the Lincoln Memorial. Major fireworks display, entertainment and an address by your favorite President, me!
If Trump isn’t in jail by then he’ll be sitting on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial all alone with a punk, some duds and a soggy Piccolo Pete.
Trump didn’t discover America. He has yet to even read the Constitution.
To break up the monotony of the never ending anxiety of Oh God What The Fuck Did Trump Do Now Syndrome, a guy taped arrows on the floor of IKEA directing people round and round in the same spot. He got arrested. Better to be caught in a labyrinth in IKEA than a labyrinth of Trump’s crimes.
Mueller handed his Manafort sentencing memo to the court. It is 800 pages long with lots of redactions so he doesn’t give his next move away. Junior, Trump and Jared are scrambling to hide evidence up their butts and are prepared to light them all on fire if Mueller suspects anything is up there.
Prosecutors told the judge that Manafort is a hardened and bold criminal, who repeatedly and brazenly violated the law and shows a hardened adherence to committing crimes. He duped members of Congress, and members of the executive branch of the United States government. Throw the 800 page book at him.
Watch your ass, Manafort.
Trump is using the Manafort’s asset forfeiture fund to build his wall.
Prosecutors have begun presenting evidence to a grand jury regarding former interior Secretary Ryan Zinke covering his ass and lying to federal investigators. If indicted, he’ll be #35.
A bishop in the Latter Day Saints of Jesus Christ in Mitt Romney’s pious state, Utah, got busted for being part of a sex trafficking ring with young girls. When he got busted he grabbed the hand of one of the detectives and forced it between his legs and then unzipped his pants and pulled out his Joseph Smith. The perv’s name is David Moss. Utah is not a border state and David Moss is not an immigrant. He’s a balding pudgy middle aged white guy and, wait for it……..a former cop.
Republican hypocrite fun fact: Here are all of the Republican senators who voted to impeach Clinton for obstruction of justice (lying about a blow job under oath): Roy Blunt, Richard Burr, Chuck Grassley, Lindsey Graham, Mitch McConnell, Mike Crapo, Mike Enzi, Jim Inhofe, Mitch McConnell, Jerry Moran, Rob Portman, Pat Roberts, Richard Shelby, John Thune and Roger Wicker. They’re still kissing Trump’s ass so he doesn’t whip theirs.
Rob Portman from Ohio has already endorsed Trump for 2020.
82 year old Pat Roberts from Kansas is calling it quits and won’t run again in 2020.
Four of the old farts who voted to impeach Clinton but continue to stand behind Trump as he obstructs justice and does Putin’s bidding are up for re-election next year: Mitch McConnell (Kentucky,) Jim Inhofe (Oklahoma,) Lindsey Graham (South Carolina,) and Mike Enzi (Wyoming.) Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham are dog paddling in the Russian/Trump swamp. They’ve both taken a great deal of money from the Russians and the NRA, and they both protect Trump from Congress investigating him. Mike Enzi was one of the Republican members of Congress who spent the 4th of July in Moscow last year.
Take those Russian/PAC/lobbyist/NRA sugar coated old white man canes and shove it up those saggy, wrinkly, pasty, old, uptight white butts.
This is the rear end. VOTE. THEM. OUT.
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