You’re Invited

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJun 12, 2023

--

Trump is cashing in on the indictment news by fundraising off of it and making two appearances at two different Republican conventions over the weekend. He’s planning on making a speech from his Bedminster club in New Jersey after the arraignment tomorrow. You can be there in person to witness the historical moment when he grifts his cult followers using his second arrest in two months. $100,000 will get you a seat in the ballroom for a “candlelight dinner,” “photo opportunity” and “VIP reception” with elected officials and special guests.

His first public appearance was in Georgia in front of 2,000 rabid fans. Marjorie Taylor Greene was there to hitch her cavewoman wagon to the dark star. She wants to be vice president so she’s flirting with bloated bag of putrid gas Trump. She’s not his type but he’ll string her along until he throws her under the bus when he’s arrested for inciting an insurrection with her help. Yesterday the sitting US congresswoman tweeted that Trump won 2020.

Georgia governor Brian Kemp and secretary of state, Brad Raffensberger stayed clear of the convention. Trump rambled on and on about the indictment and got applause. He called it a political hit job. Hillary Clinton was never indicted! Biden took classified documents! He called Merrick Garland a thug and Jack Smith deranged. And then the idiot incriminated himself again by accusing Georgia of rigging the 2020 election — 6 weeks before he’s about to get indicted. He called the indictment election interference and then passed his problem on to his MAGA cult followers, “You have to defeat ’em … they’re coming after you, and I’m just standing in their way.”

Fox was televising his speech live but then killed the audio when Trump claimed election interference to fact check him. They better after being sued for almost $1 billion for lying about election interference.

After his appearance in Georgia, Trump, his faithful dog Walt Nauta who is going to go to jail for him, and Marjorie Taylor Greene all went to a Waffle House so Trump could sign autographs for the cameras. After that he flew to North Carolina for their GOP convention and made the same speech there. Pence had spoken earlier in the day, and like the loyal lap dog he still is, he licked the boots of his master and said, “Merrick Garland, stop hiding behind the special counsel and stand before the American people and explain why this indictment went forward.”

“This is the final battle,” Trump told the faithful in the audience in North Carolina. “With you at my side we will demolish the Deep State.” Then he said, “All of a sudden, you see that big fat dump, that big dump at 3:02 in the morning,” and no one knows why.

The Republican delegates in North Carolina voted to censure their senator, Thom Tillis, for backing LGBTQ rights, immigration and gun safety policies.

The morning after the indictment was released, Trump posted on Truth Social that Americans had gone to sleep that night with tears in their eyes.

Republicans are either staying quiet about the indictment or they’re desperately trying to change the narrative to Hillary Clinton or the Biden crime family. Lindsey Graham lost his shit on ABC’s “This Week” with George Stephanopoulos Sunday morning. He defended and endorsed Trump and said “they” are trying to delegitimization him. He snapped at George when George pushed back and pivoted to Hillary Clinton’s emails.

The White House held its biggest Pride event to date with ordinary Americans and their families. Biden tweeted: I know that too many people in the LGBTQI+ community are worried and afraid about their future and their safety. I want to send a message to the entire community — especially to transgender children. You are loved. You are heard. You are understood. You belong.

The festivities were held on the south lawn. A giant Pride flag was hung from the balcony flanked by two US flags. Republicans went nuts and accused Biden of desecrating the flag. The same people who super impose Trump’s face on the US flag, stuff the flag up their butt cracks as bikini thongs, and wear the flag as capes are upset about how the flag is being used. They fly our flag right along side the confederate flag, the Don’t Tread on Me flag, and the Nazi flag from the backs of their trucks. These guys are worried about penal code violations on flag desecration?

Remember when Trump humped the flag on stage? MAGAs loved it and are willing to lay out $100,000 to watch him do it again at his Bedminster club tomorrow night.

--

--

Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

Responses (7)