Chastity Belts

Spike Dolomite
4 min readMay 6, 2022

The Supreme Court has a new chastity belt. The fencing that went up 5 days ago after Alito’s opinion leaked to keep people out is being replaced with a concrete wall, all in an attempt to control who gets in. A building has more rights than women do in America.

Louisiana Republicans are working on a bill that bans abortion from the moment an egg is fertilized and will prosecute women for murder if they do anything to keep it from taking over her body and life. Republicans care more about an ovum that has just been penetrated by a sperm than they do a 13 year old girl with Down syndrome who has been raped by her father.

Republican US Senator from North Dakota Kevin Cramer says any fetus is worth saving over the mother, without exception.

The man is still completely faultless in any of this and bears no responsibility whatsoever. Outlawing abortion is the patriarchy saying men can commit crimes against women and women must pay the price. Women are expected to absorb the mistakes of men while men just walk away, free to impregnate others.

We’re headed for a time when if you get an abortion in one state it is legal and safe, but in another it’s homicide and you could go to jail. The penalty for abortion is more than the penalty for rape. If she doesn’t want to get raped, wear a chastity belt.

Senator Kirsten Gillibrand called out the 5 justices who lied to the Senate about saying Roe v Wade was settled law during their confirmation hearings. For the first time in history a US senator has publicly accused Supreme Court justices of being liars.

The only thing that the Supreme Court and GOP care about is finding out who leaked. Not the opinion. Not the ramifications of the ruling. Not the public outrage. Their only concern is that they have been violated and need a chastity belt.

Why care about the Supreme Court’s privacy when they don’t care about ours?

The person who has been charged with investigating the leak at the Supreme Court is not some esteemed investigator but the facilities manager of the Supreme Court (she could have ordered the chastity belt,) who also serves as the chief security officer, manager of 260 employees and the person who gets to say, “Oyez! Oyez! Oyez!” which means “hear ye” when the justices enter the room. Her title is Court Marshal and she has only been on the job for less than a year. Before that she was in the army so having the title Court Marshal is pretty funny.

Even though Senator Susan Collins is disappointed in Kavanaugh and Gorsuch for lying to her about their support for Roe, she will not support the Senate Democrats’ bill to secure abortion protections in law.

New Hampshire state rep Republican Susan DeLemus yelled at protesters in front of the state capital who were there chanting about Roe v Wade. She called them all murderers. She called herself a murderer too because 33 years ago she had an abortion and regrets it so now she’s using her power to make sure nobody else gets one and if they do, the sperm donor can go after her. She introduced a bill that would allow men to sue women seeking an abortion. Her husband Jerry was recently released from federal prison after serving 6 years for inciting and leading an armed insurrection.

In other news, Trump’s Secretary of Defense, Mark Esper wants us all to buy his book so we can learn about things that happened during the Trump reign while he was there but never divulged before so he could make money off of them such as when Trump asked if he could bomb Mexico to take out drug cartels. “Nobody would know it was us,” he said. And then there was Stephen Miller who asked if they could take the head of ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi after they killed him and dip it in pig’s blood and walk it around to warn other terrorists.

Mike Huckabee wrote a children’s book called “A Kid’s Guide to President Trump” and he’s giving it away for free.

More audio has come out of Kevin McCarthy talking about getting rid of Trump using the 25th Amendment. He said it would take too long. He also said he was going to talk to Biden about not impeaching Trump.

A sex tape of Congressboy Madison Cawthorn has come out (pun intended) of him naked frolicking in bed with another man. He told people not to jump to conclusions. It’s not what it looks like. That’s his cousin.

Support the Daily Crime Report on Patreon!

For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.

For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.

To find out how good of an American you are, take this test.

The Daily Crime Reports are being published as “quarterly reports” (three month groups) as part of “The Treason Chronicles” on Amazon for Kindle. To purchase one or more quarters, click here.

--

--

Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.