Holding Our Breath

Spike Dolomite
4 min readMar 4, 2022

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Junior’s fiancé, ex-Fox news host Kimberly Guilfoyle, has been subpoenaed by the Select Committee because she blew off their polite invitation to come in and talk to them voluntarily. The best. Is yet. To come.

Don’t hold your breath.

Fox News talking head, Monica Crowley, who got the job as senior advisor for public affairs to Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin because Trump saw her on TV, went on Fox, held her nose and said Russia is being cancelled.

174 Republicans voted against a bill to expand health benefits to veterans exposed to toxic burn pits. It’s their own fault that they breathed in poisonous fumes. They should have held their breath. The Republican party is a toxic burn pit.

Speaking of toxic burn pits, Lauren Boebert sent a fundraising appeal the day after heckling President Biden during the State of the Union address. Her pits stink, her breath stinks, and everybody who voted for her stinks.

Nobody showed up to the “Freedom Convoy” in DC that Steve Bannon had been hyping for weeks.

Now that Russia can’t invade our social media accounts with nonstop propaganda and phantom bots posing as dumb ass American trolls, Facebook and Twitter feeds are full of ads. They really need the money (or rubles…..) Funny how easy that was for them to do. Russia attacks Ukraine and poof — social media companies can identify and stop distribution of disinformation and malicious propaganda just like that, but during American elections, not so much. They make way too much money from that. Smell that? Money money money money. Newsfeeds for Facebook and Twitter have dramatically changed since the freezing of Russian assets. It’s like a scrolling online Penny Saver — ads, ads, ads. The loud mouthed, liberal bashing, Trump loving, Biden hating “patriots” have suddenly gone silent. A breath of fresh air that got flooded with ads for air fresheners and deoderant.

The Russian backed TV “news” channel, RT (short for Russia Today) is disappearing from screens across Europe. RT America has laid off its staff.

Sanctions against Russian oligarchs, their family members, and companies are inflicting pain and suffering on the only people who own the wealth in Russia. They’re being hit because they are subsidizing the war. The ripple effect of choking Russian money is being felt all the way to America, to the Republican Party. Republicans depend on rubles. That’s the real reason why they’ve never denounced Trump. The Russians give money to many of their campaigns and super PACs plus they’ve got dirt on a bunch of them. Russia didn’t just hack the DNC’s emails. They hacked the RNC’s too, but they held on to them to blackmail politicians, donors, and campaign operatives.

Two of the oligarchs who are feeling the pain is Putin spokesman Dmitry Peskov and Yevgeniy Prigozhin, one of the Russians wanted by the FBI for interfering with the 2016 election. Smell that?

Alexi Navalny, a good guy who had the guts to take Putin on and paid dearly for it, is calling upon the Russian people to stand up to Putin by taking to the streets. He’s leading from his jail cell.

Russia has expelled the US ambassador.

Lexus stopped shipping cars to Russia. Honda will stop exports of cars and motorcycles. Mazda Motor Corp. is suspending shipments of parts to a plant in Russia. Toyota said it is halting production at its plant in St. Petersburg and will halt vehicle shipments to Russia indefinitely.

Boeing is suspending parts, maintenance and technical support services for Russian airlines and halted its major operations in Moscow.

Ford stopped operations in Russia.

Apple stopped all sales to Russia. Apple Pay no longer works.

Sanctions on Russia by so many countries are the most serious means of economic warfare that’s ever happened.

Mexico refuses to join all the other countries in sanctioning Russia.

The Russian attack on Ukraine created one million refugees in one week. This is the largest humanitarian crisis in Europe in 80 years.

The largest country in the world is attacking the largest country in Europe.

Russia bombed the largest nuclear power plant in the country but luckily it wasn’t the reactor — they hit an adjacent building signaling to the world that Putin is going nuclear.

For four years the world held its breath fearing Trump would push the nuclear button out of impulsive, childish spite. He claimed to have built a secret nuclear weapons system that had never been done before, not even Russia or North Korea and bragged about knowing more than HIS generals — “My fucking generals are all pussies.”

Now the world is holding its breath because Putin isn’t impulsive. If he can’t dominate the world, then he’ll just blow it up.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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