Kick Ass or Kiss Ass

Spike Dolomite
4 min readMar 7, 2022

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The largest nuclear plant in Europe is in Ukraine and it has now been seized by the Russians. It’s a war crime to attack nuclear facilities.

There are crimes in war?

The Russians fired on another Ukrainian nuclear facility. This time they hit the Kharkiv Institute of Physics and Technology that houses the nuclear research facility Neutron Source.

Russia is intentionally firing at nuclear facilities.

A wildfire broke out near the Hanul Nuclear Plant in South Korea which prompted the government to issue a natural disaster alert.

US senators met with President Zelensky via Zoom over the weekend to update them on the Russian attack on Ukraine. What an insult to have to do that after they didn’t remove Trump after being impeached for trying to extort him. The Ukrainian ambassador requested that nobody share anything on social media during the meeting because that could alert Russia to his whereabouts and he has survived three assassination attempts already. Marco Rubio and Steve Daines ignored the ambassador and posted screenshots from the Zoom call anyway. Marco Rubio is on the Senate Intelligence Committee. He knows better. He put the president of Ukraine in danger. #marcorubles

Republican Senator Lindsey Graham said that Putin didn’t attack Ukraine when Trump was president because Trump would have “kicked his ass.” He also said that somebody should assassinate Putin. White House Press Secretary had to clean that up right away. “That is not the position of the United States government and certainly not a statement you’d hear come from the mouths of anybody working in this administration.”

Rubio and Graham are going off Rebublican message: Abortion, gun control, and critical race theory.

A former Fox News director is being investigated for ignoring Russian sanctions and helping an oligarch start a right wing Russian network.

Visa, Mastercard and PayPal have left Russia. BBC and CNN have halted broadcasting from Russia. Russia has blocked Facebook and Twitter. Russia shut down everything but the official propaganda state media.

Russia’s second largest oil company, Lukoil, has broken ranks with Putin and have called for an end to the war. Lukoil produces more than 2% of the world’s crude oil and employs over 100,000 people.

Criticizing the war in Ukraine is now illegal in Russia and carries a 15 year prison sentence.

The US State Department is urging all US citizens in Russia to leave immediately.

Putin called the sanctions imposed on Russia a declaration of war.

A new round of voting restrictions passed by the Florida Senate would create a law enforcement agency dedicated to “election crimes.”

Moscow Mitch is pissed off at Florida’s Rick Scott for going rogue and making a public promise that contradicts the splintering rich-white-people only Republican agenda so then Rick Scott got pissed at Moscow Mitch and published an op-ed in the Wall Street Journal doubling down on his own GOP platform to raise taxes on “over half of Americans.” He’s trying to make himself out to be a new and improved Republican by “defying DC cowardice” and telling it like it is. The money has got to come from somewhere and it’s not going to come from them or their American oligarch friends so why not tell the truth for once? Everybody will pay taxes but them.

“Can anyone explain why a billionaire who takes advantage of the system to exploit other people is called an ‘oligarch’ in Russia and a ‘job creator’ in America?” — Dan Price

Bible thumping Republican congressman from Tennessee Brian Kelsey is leaving Congress to spend more time with his family after being arraigned on a five count indictment charging him with violating multiple campaign finance laws as part of a conspiracy to benefit his 2016 campaign.

Mark Meadows, Trump’s chief of staff who helped plan the coup from inside the White House, is registered to vote from a mobile home he’s never lived in since 2020. That’s voter fraud. He’s been claiming voter fraud regarding the 2020 election since before the election.

Republican Fred Keller from Pennsylvania isn’t going to run again. He’s the 14th Republican member of Congress to call it quits.

Harvey Weinstein got caught with contraband Milk Duds in jail.

President Biden worked all weekend putting out domestic fires and keeping international fires from geting out of control. He didn’t golf at tax payer expense or tweet.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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